Dreams of loosing / missing my husband Pete!

Strange timing. I lost my husband - also called Pete just over six months ago  from a brain tumour.  Last night I dreamt about him for the first time. I was holding him and trying to keep him safe which of course I couldn't do.

After his diagnosis I had dreams similar to yours were I kept searching for him, desperate to find him but last nights dream was different. 

Like you I woke up heartbroken which is not a good start to the day so I got up and took the dog out. 

Yes you're not alone! Me too. I lost my husband Jay 5 months ago to bowel cancer and just recently he has started coming into my dreams at night. In my dreams some nights I am sitting talking to him and we are discussing things that are going to happen making plans for the future things like that and it just seems so real that I am actually sitting there talking to him and then I wake up and as you say, so heartbreaking when you realise that it has only been a dream and maybe things in your dream you were looking forward to happening you then realise never will

• Wow. So grateful you posted.  My husband died 4 years ago. The dreams that he has left me feel so real. Sometimes he leaves me for another woman but it is all so vague. Sometimes he leaves me  and I don’t know why. Sometimes he leaves just because he wants to. I never cry or beg him back. My dreams find me in all kinds of places looking for him but no matter what he just doesn’t want to come back to me. His eyes and face are so detached. In my dream I feel devastated and wonder what I have done. We have been married for 34 years. I don’t know where this is coming from. I wake feeling desolate and hurt and abandoned. I really want these dreams to leave me alone. 

Hi Owl58

I do not understand why l am having these dreams, l have been with Pete since we were 16 years old, married at 17 became parents at 17 3/4. Pete passed at 64 exactly like you, my dreams also can be  for another women ect. I am so lost with out him l feel like the sparkle has gone out of me which was obviously Pete. I am truly surprised that l am still here. I have a 2 lovely sons and their families but even with them around me l am lost.

Like you l want these dreams to leave me alone. xx

Yes sometimes they can be disturbing but sometimes a comfort also. Just so sad when you wake up though and find that that is all it was just a dream because it does feel so real when it happens. Jay and I were together for 40 years he's gone almost 6 months as I said, but it just feels that bit longer although it has flown in. My best wishes to you. 

xx

I to have dreams of my darling husband, although i do not always remember what they are about, but as everyone else i wake up to reality. I ask my husband ever day to come for me, as all i want is to be with him, as nothing else is important to me anymore. I put a mask on for everyone who i see, but do not see the point of just existing any more. I hope your dreams fade in time and you find a way through this immense heartbreak.

I just wanted to be with him at the beginning but that has waned slightly. That's not to say that I never want to be with him again it's just in the last months I have realised that I still need to be here for family members. I see myself as the `glue` that is holding the rest of them together. Jay said to me before he passed that I am strong and will go forward without him but I refused to believe and one of his last wishes was that I make sure our son and his little family are ok. In the last couple of months I have began to realise that what he said may just be ringing true because I feel that although I would rather be him, there are still things I need to be here for and I am sure he is somewhere around spurring me on and I would like to think that I am making him proud and that one day we will be back together so if it means for now that he visits me in my dreams so be it. My best wishes to you all.

xx