I like to listen to joe south’s song walk a mile in my shoes. I watch the red zone for updates on my team the Green Bay packers. I get up in the morning and do stuff during the day. Some days I can’t be bothered getting up. I talk to my dog Trevor. He agrees with everything I say and waits patiently for me to get up so he can chase squirrels. Sometimes I look at the dishes and I can’t be bothered. Sometimes I clean the house scrubbing from top to bottom. The rawness of losing him has dulled but my life is dull now I’ve lost him. I chase life affirming moments such as holidays, new groups, meals with friends, family gatherings. But in my heart I am so lonely for him. I want to talk to him. I want to feel his strong arms around me. I just want him to come home. He’s been gone 4 years and it’s time he came back home to me.
I Cry out to him that it must e time to come back now. It seems that he can't be gone for ever. I don't want to make a new life on my own, I want our life.
I think you just keep talking to your husband to keep him present and part of your life now. It's 13 months for me. I get what you feel as I just push out reality, like my husband hasn't really gone. As time goes on that gets more difficult
I am guessing that's the way to cope still and always. We will keep busy and do new things but if you try to think they are still there in a way you can feel better.
No need to face reality ever, only carry on with your own if it helps you. Xx
It's the worst feeling in the world. Lost without your special person. Some days can't even get out of bed. Keep hoping I'll get some sign he's around. Five year battle with renal cancer. I never really accepted he was going to go. I think a lot now of what was going on in his head especially towards the end when he was getting weaker. Heartbreaking. I cry all the time. 27 weeks on. Not getting any easier. Why did he have to go. Why haven't they got a cure for cancer yet.
It’s so cruel and so raw for you still. When I pick my grandchildren up from school I meet more and more women I vaguely know coming to me to talk about losing their husbands as they say you have to go through it to understand how hard it is. I hope talking to me helps them but reliving it with them is also hard. My heart goes out to you and hope the really bad days become fewer. Living with grief is exhausting. xxx
Thankyou. I lost my Father when I was 26 and my Mother died when I was 31 three weeks after I started to date my husband. We married 10 10 months later. We were together nearly 31 years. I look ahead and think 31 years before I met him nearly 31 years together.I wonder how many years ahead without him. He was 8.5 years younger than me.The fittest man on the planet. He went into remission twice but in the end it went to his brain and steroids and radiation were not strong enough to beat the cancer. I blame myself sometimes for not doing more research and looking out there for other treatments but you are so tired at times living with the worry of cancer in the background all the time. I think could I have done more. Everyone says to me he fought it as hard and for as long as he could. I cry all the time without him. I
I am so sorry for your loss and on top of losing your parents young.
Amazing if your husband was 5 years with cancer. There's nothing you could do more.
I see and hear advice which is helpful. Just live in the moment, don't think of the future. Try to fill up your day, working, join groups, voluntary work, anything to keep you occupied, go for a walk, swim etc
It's so unfair, and only when you get on these forums you see you are not alone.
Dec 20th will be five years ;for me. I feel as though I've been waiting for him all this time. It was reassuring to read that I'm not the only one feeling as if it were time for him to come back home.
