Hi
My husband of 21 years died nearly 3 weeks ago, of melanoma, aged 53. Now I’m a widow aged 49. He had a mole removed 2,5 years ago and then had the all clear. He had no drig follow up as he also had a heart problem and the oncologist advised that the risks outweighed the benefits. Then, see ingly suddenlly, in early October, he got Ascites (swelling of the stomach). He went to get scanned and they found the cancer had returned with a vengeance including in his stomach linings, which was causing all the fluid build up.
After that I watched him as he went downhill, having his lifeblood drained out into various bags, taking treatments, suffering side effects and them not working, becoming unable to walkand drive, then getting pneumonia, being covered in wires and reliant on oxygen, pumped full of drugs. Discovering the cancer had taken over his lung and finally watching him die of pulmonary failure unable to breathe. This has all taken place over a 3 month period and during thT time I have had to be brave and reassuring, look after everything, tell my 15 yo daughter that life will get better. I gave my husband massages, reiki healing and back scratches and finally helped him pass over. He would open his eyes and look for me. The nurses in the hospital were all crying as they could see the love we had for each other.
And now I feel traumatized. I keep replaying the last three months and particularly the last few weeks before his death in my mind. It was just so heart-breaking. I try to console myself that Idid everything right. He was very brave until the end and said he wasnt scared. But no-one should die like that right? Xx.
