Happy occasions just make me sad now

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Why is that even times that should be happy - my daughter in law is currently in hospital in labour - having our granddaughter - and I’m sat at home sobbing my heart out. I can’t talk to anyone about it as understandably they want to announce the birth themselves but that means that right now I have no one to share all of these emotions with. All I want to do is talk to Dave about it. This is our first granddaughter as we have three grandsons so far. These happy times just make the ache for him so much more intense. 
It’s coming up to a year since I lost Dave (9th October)  and I feel like I’m crying so much more at the minute. The slightest thing reduces me to tears. Maybe it’s because it’s hitting home how much he is missing - both our son and daughter got married in the last month, our middle grandson starting nursery, and now the new baby.
Somedays I just want to be with Dave wherever he is but then I also know that I couldn’t leave our children behind 

Heartbroken 

Jillian