4 weeks on pre funeral

I think you have to what feels right for you, and not be persuaded by anyone else.

I did go and see my husband but mainly because his last few hours he was in distress and I didn’t want that to be my last memory … I needed to see him at peace and dressed in his best suit … I had a photo of us both with our son and daughter which I put in an envelope and tucked it inside his jacket so that we would always be with him.  It was right for me.

Hi. Sorry you have found yourself on this group but we are all here for the same reason and it’s good to have people that understand. I remember the first time I had to complete a form and the marital status part -Widow - awful 

I was with my husband when he died (Oct last year) and it wasn’t a pleasant last 24 hours. I was also really unsure about whether I wanted to go to the Chapel of Rest as I wasn’t sure if I could beat it so I decided to go and then if I got there and couldn’t go in that was going to be ok  I did however go in and I am so glad I did  it was lovely to see Dave looking so good. He was in his favourite shirt and jeans and looked so handsome. Much nicer than the last time o had seen himThe only part I didn’t like was how cold he was - which I was expecting but it still took me by surprise  

Whatwver you decide let it be your decision and don’t  be swayed by what anyone says or what you feel you “should do” It’s a horrible time and you need to do what is right for you to get though it.

Antime you’re unsure pop on here for a chat, support or advice. We get it and as much as family and friends try to understand no one can until they have lost their husband/wife/partner 

Take care 

Jillian 

Dear Lorna

Having been married for nearly 40 years I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. I am so sorry for your loss and there is nothing I can do to help you except say that I feel for you in your sadness.

As for viewing the body as other have said you need to do what feels right for you, consider if you will regret not seeing him as well. But if you have no need to see him you are under no obligation to do so. Is there someone you can talk to or maybe a quiet place you can go (even it it's only your own garden if you don't like going out at the moment) to think, I know it can be hard to make decisions as such times as this.. I don't think it could make you feel any better or worse as it will not change anything. It all depends on whether or not you need to see him before the funeral.. I must just add if you think you will watch the coffin and wonder what he does look like in there maybe you should go and see him. 

Blessings and love to you

Elleanor