I've joined you

Susy1 i am so sorry you have had to join this group.

I have no words of comfort really, but every one here truly, knows how you fill, it is a terrible road we are now on.your emotions will be all over the place, we all have bee where you now find yourself.

For me at the start it was denial, not real, a mistake,this is not happening, he will be home soon, and after 2years 4 months i still think like that at times. 

You have to do  what is best for YOU, i told my children do not smother me, you have never done that, if they had   i would have know this is not a dream but real.

We have to try and cope in our own way, though it is hard.

I have been angry at him, i have sworn at him, screamed at him, emotions come from places you would not imange and can take you when you least expect it.

I fill for you, as it is the start for you, every one copes in there own way, there is no right or wrong,

You will get a lot of support here, a unless you have or going threw this nightmare no one truly understands it.

Take Care Ellie 

Susy1, so so sorry you had to join this group.  As Ellie73 says, your emotions are all over the place, we have all been there (and still are).  I read on here a few months ago that somebody found comfort in writing to their partner whenever the need arises, I bought a book on Amazon called Letters to my husband in Heaven and find that writing to my husband every now and then is cathartic.  sometimes I rant and rave, sometimes I tell him about my day, but it does help me.

We are all here any time you need to reach out.

Love is eternal.

Hello Susy

I am so deeply sorry for your loss, you need to give yourself time to grieve, it’s ok to talk to Paul, it’s ok to cry, there are many different ways to manage grief, the first few weeks after Linda parted, were the worst in my life ever, didn’t want to believe it and couldn’t believe it. Then came the awful realisation that this was my new reality, a world without my Soul mate.Most importantly give yourself time for you, look after yourself, but don’t feel you need to achieve anything, allow others to support you, if it feels right for you. There’s no easy answers, you will get a lot of support here, don’t be afraid to ask or say anything, it really doesn’t matter if you feel you need extra help, maybe talk to your GP, many don’t want or need Medication help, but I did and couldn’t have managed without it. Many say “take a day at a time”, it really is true, it’s not good to ponder about the future, the now is what’s important.
Please take good care of you x

Hi Suzy1,
Last things first, you don't need to move on, why would you want to forget someone you love so much, and I say love rather than loved, just because your Paul is no longer here will not stop you from loving him - trust me on this one because it hurts as I am typing.
For goodness sake of course you should talk to your Paul, out loud as loud as you can when the feeling requires it. The friends and loved ones will be hurting too, they will want to remember the good times with Paul, I can't remember a conversation in the last eight months since my Gill passed where I haven't mentioned her name - unknowingly it gives others permission to do the same, so they are not pussy footing around a subject that is dear to your heart and often theirs.
Sadly you have joined a club that has a high membership price, just remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, no time limit and no fast-track. Look after yourself and let others look after you as well, it helps you and them.

Hi Susy1

I totally understand how you are feeling as do all of us here, yes we might handle/grieve in different ways but no one else on earth  that has not  lost a partner can truly understand. I am a true believer in talking about the people we loose, siblings, parents, children and the greatest loss of all in my opinion as l have lost most of the others, is my soul mate and friend, lover is my Pete:(

I can only say that we all feel your pain and that we are all here, listening anytime you need us. xxx

Thank you all for your replies. 

I am so sorry for your loss. It will not seem easy now but you will find it gradually gets easier and you inch forward.

Love and hugs Alison xxx