A moral dilemma

That's terrible. I'm glad you put 'friend' as a real friend wouldn't behave in this way.  Personally I don't think you should pay but can totally understand that you may want to pay just because it stops him harassing you. 

Thanks for taking time to reply.

Part of me wants to pay him so he can’t ever say anything bad about me/my husband who would have upheld his part of the arrangement. But the sad fact is he has died and the arrangement was between the two of them. We had paid for the actual boiler ourselves the agreement was for the installation. I’m wondering if I offered to pay half? Would that seem fair?

Hi Kath,

That's awful... for someone to be calling and then come knocking at your door so soon after losing your husband, doesn't sound like a "friend" to me.

I'm no expert but I know a bit, and £850 sounds like an awful lot for installation only.. Just an idea, but you could call a local electrician and ask them how much it costs to check electrics and issue a safety certificate (just to get a rough estimate).  I imagine it would be a fraction of the cost he's asking for, so you could cover this cost instead - that way the agreement is still being honoured without him potentially conning you.  Hopefully you have a family member/friend that you could ask to make these calls for you?   

I don't know all the details but if he is trying to con you, then he won't want the electrical work he's asking for and purely wants money, so if you go this route, make it clear you'll pay the electrician directly and not him.. Do you live alone?  Just my opinion but honestly it sounds like he's trying to prey on someone vulnerable, he sounds horrible. 

I feel really bad you're having to go through this, you have such a lot to deal with right now so please please don't let this upset you. And if he continues to call/hassle you just tell him you need a bit of time.  

Sending you lots of support

xx

Thank you for your reply.

I like your idea of coming at it from a different angle, that could work and is definitely worth looking into. 

Also, someone suggested he’d be foolish to bad mouth my husband (for dying?) as he would only succeed in making himself sound unreasonable. 

Many thanks.

K

It feels like you should be the one bad mouthing his methods! He's got more to loose than your husband does. It's awful to be preying on you at this time.

I had a similar issue with a van I was selling for parts and got sold just a few weeks after I lost my wife. The buyer was then harassing me to get a refund because he wasn't pleased. I just wanted him to go away and let me be. Thankfully a friend of mine insisted that I step up instead and ask the buyer to complain to ebay. He never rang again.

So in your case, if there was indeed an arrangement it seems only fair for you to ask someone else the real cost of it to be sure that you're not being conned. And if the man is too insistent you can maybe tell him that his behaviour is not helping at all.

take care xx

Antoine

Thanks for your reply, it’s appreciated.

ive asked him to put his claim in writing so I can ask someone else to see if it seems reasonable.

kath x

Brilliant idea Yanii.

I like it xx