Life stresses starting to become overwhelming

Hi EHugs, it has been such a very very difficult time for you, I so wish words could wipe away the sadness, fear and desperation, unfortunately all of us here know they don’t. 

All the clichés about taking things day by day and putting one foot in front of the other suddenly have real meaning. To have dealt with selling and buying a house is major and stressful.. Each anniversary is very hard, I recently had my third one for my late husband, difficult enough with out everything that is going on for you at the moment. What I will say is anyone who just disappears is definitely does not deserve you. 

I am sorry I can’t make all the sadness and hurt you are feeling disappear. We may all deal with things differently but I can say is that everyone here understands.

Loads of luv and virtual hugs

Jo

xxxxxx

Hi,

You did well coming here to release your frustration. We get it. :)

I understand how your friend's diagnosis must bring back many bad memories. It's trauma talking for you. The good thing is that if you have the strength to be there for her you know exactly what it's about, that's a gift.

Regarding disappearing guy (not nice), I have gone through a brilliant romance last year (unexpected) that didn't work out and it's been hard grieving that relationship on top of my existing grief, but I have been trying to think that it showed that it was possible to find love again. It's the same for you, that's something to celebrate!

Work and houses plans falling through are part of "everyday stress" (house sales is much more than that for anybody actually). When we feel already fragile because we have much on our plate, it tips the balance and it's easy to be overwhelmed. But you'll get there. Try to prioritise what works for you and make you happy, and be easy on yourself. The second anniversary (Next summer for me) is a trigger too. 

You seem to be already doing amazing considering all you've been through. You will bounce back.

Sending you a hug xx

Antoine

Hi ehugs

I guess we all get highs and lows. I have been going great for two years but a bit wobbly recently. 

I have a new boyfriend which started a bit dodgy but now a lovely relationship but I am frightened to rely on him especially at the moment when I need to really. I am scared I will be a nuisance and a liability for a few weeks when I have my hip replacement. I am 3 1/2 weeks away now and getting twitchy. I feel alone (I am not) and feel like crying alit at the moment because of the pain, frustration of what I can't do and I am scared going to hospital alone! Even if I work there!!! Everyone is lovely but I am still alone and scared. 

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Nothing will make that easier for you but you may make it easier for her. Believe in yourself.

Sending you a big hug. Take care. Alison xxx

Thank you Alison and lots of hugs. I am feeling a bit better today, I got some promising news on the house move so that is at least one thing positive to hold onto right now.

I think you are right though, we get highs and lows, I think I have just noticed my lows are much worse now since I lost Rob. 

I knew investigating the dating world would come with its difficulties, but just I think everything came at the wrong time.

And thank you regarding my friend, I am doing my best to help her how I can. I am also trying to be their for her husband and family and have encouraged them to get support if they need it.

I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling too. I hope your hip replacement goes well. I think sometimes it is easier to feel alone than to put ourselves out there and risk getting hurt... Least I think this is what I sometimes do. I think though if you have a good relationship now, you should try and talk to him a bit about how you are feeling, as maybe he can help and also it is ok to rely on him if he is ok with that. You are obviously best placed to know this though.

Good luck for your surgery.  Sending lots of hugs. Take Care 

Thank you Jo xx

Thank you Antoine 

Yeah I can imagine, dealing with a relationship not working out on top of grief is very difficult. I only spoke to this guy for a couple of months and met him twice and I found that hard enough because I felt like there was possibly something there.. I will be ok though.. I knew dating again would come with its own problems. I like that you are trying to take your experience as it showing you it is possible to find love again. I will try to remember this thank you.

I got an update on the house yesterday and it  looking promising for a move soon so hopefully that stress will be gone soon..  work is still a bit crazy but it seems to be improving now too.. just need to try and be positive. My colleagues are also all very good and have helped me get through the last 2 plus years so do understand how the situation with my friend may not help here.

Thank you for being understanding and taking the time to write. It is good to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this.

Sending hugs xx

Lizzie 

Hi Lizzie,

Yes for me the difficulty was that I didn't plan to fall in love at all. It just happened and while it helped me a lot at the time I had invested too much too fast into it and it made it harder to move on afterwards. I'm thinking about dating now but I want to be very cautious to not get into that trap again and be sure of the person before I fall in love (as if I had a say..)

It's great news for the house, fingers crossed it will all work out. Work is what it is, good attitude to try and stay positive about it. That's the spirit!

Thank you for your reply. We're all in it together.

Hugs back to you XX

Antoine