Oh dear, feeling awful. I'm not expecting responses, just want to let things out. My lovely partner died 8 months ago after 2 years of tests, scans, major surgery and lots of ineffective chemo. He went through so much for nothing. Surgery worked when it needed to, but chemo had no effect at all. He had some minor side effects but it did nothing for the cancer.
I had a hard time after he died, then rallied a bit, but now am back where I started. I have so much to sort out as his dad died 7 months earlier and I'm left with sorting out the remainder of his dad's estate as well as Nic's and lots in the house as well.
Most days I get up and look at the clock to see how many hours I have to go before I can go to sleep again. I have a large pile of lists of things to do, but very little is achieved.
I know people will come back and say I'll get there and to take time, but it's so frustrating. I've given up work so can't use that as an excuse. Ugh, it's so hard as I know you all appreciate.
I keep playing the songs from his funeral, which brings everything back from the day, but I can't help it.
I've been on here a lot lately and know you are going though the same. I just need to get it down in writing.
I hope you are all coping as well as you can.
xx
Hello, yes the feelings you are experiencing are sadly very common. I have been sorting through old B&W photos, some I have scanned for the family, but many left to do. Every time I saw a photo of her it started the tears, I actually managed to listen to Our favourite Album the other day, A beard of stars by Tyrannosaurus Rex, which we used to listen to in my little bedroom when we were first courting, although it wasn’t the best idea to listen to it while driving, had to control the tears or could have been dangerous. My other project which brought floods of tears was to make a DVD slideshow of all the photographs taken by many of our local church congregation who went on a pilgrimage to the ‘Holy Land’ in 2016, an immensely religious experience for my Wife. It took a couple of years to get hold of all the photos from various people, then with Linda’s deteriorating health I just couldn’t find the time to sit at the PC for hours compiling & adding captions to the the photos. I added religious Jewish / Israeli background music, which made it far more professional. My biggest disappointment was that Linda never got to see it finished. But I added a dedication to her at the end of the DVD. I am making copies for all the family, so they can actually see what Linda saw during her pilgrimage and for as many of the congregation that want a copy. I feel good to have finished it at last, but the timing just wasn’t as I had wished.
take care and keep safe
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Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
