Can’t cope with this

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My beloved Maureen has been gone almost 10 weeks, I didn’t think I would get through the first week without her, but the loneliness and overwhelming sadness I feel is like a ton weight. I feel exhausted all the time. Everything in the house reminds me of her and I can’t bring myself to move anything so I spent large parts of the day in tears that are never far away, if I do find myself occupied I then feel guilty that I haven’t cried. At times I still expect to see her then reality hits me. I go to sleep (eventually) in tears ans wake up in tears. Today seems worse than yesterday and this week worse than last week, I read other posts and it seems that even months down this awful path we are all on the pain and sadness doesn’t get any easier I don’t think I can cope with the feeling of loneliness and sadness. I still talk to her and just long to be near her and feel her hand in mine again . How do you move forward, I hate leaving the house. I don’t talk to anyone for days at time as no one really understands how devastated I feel.
I worry she didn’t know just how desperately I loved her. The last days haunts me. I relive them every day.
I don’t expect replies I’m probably just hoping that writing how I feel will make it easier.
Thanks

jon.

ellie 73 over 3 years ago

Hi Jon

i am sorry you have come to this group

Its still early days for you, you are.not alone in the way you are feeling.

It is two years this Friday since my hubby passed, i cannot believe it, like others i never thought i would get past the first month.

I still talk to my hubby, i tell him everything i have done that day and who i may have spoken to, if any one, as i have days when i do not.,

I have to keep busy, first time ever i decided to decorate it was always hobby's job. I even had to ask him if i was doing the right thing, sounds silly, but we always done everything together and and every descion was made together.

Its not easy, and i am just starting to cry less, and have a little giggle to my self when i think of the good times we had, and those memories are starting to come to light, though at the start of this journey was angry, heart broken, lost, did not know who i was without him.

Those thoughts have gradually gone away slowly, i still get sad and cry, but not every day like i used to,

One day at a time, was the only way i could cope.

Please use this group, great support from every one, and we ..all truly understand what you are feeling.

You will get threw this , and the sun will shine again, though not as bright as it used to, when our loves one where here.

Take Care Ellie xx

Bobjake over 3 years ago in reply to ellie 73

Hi Elle, Thank you so much for your reply.
One day at a time was My Maureen’s way of dealing with her illness, she used to say that’s all I can do. I miss her so much as I’m sure you miss your husband.

take care & god bless

Jon

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