How do i cope with it all

21st September  not october my head is all over the place.dont even know what day it is 

It will get better but you are at the hardest part now. 

Keep writing and checking in. It helped me a lot.

Sending you a big hug 

Alison XXX

Thankyou i hope it gets better.  I am so down i wish it had been me instead , the pain i feel is unbearable.  I am trying to get through each day for sake of my son and daughter as they are having a hard time coping aswell. Its just so unfair  i feel totaly lost 

Hi

I am so sorry that you have lost your husband. It is so recent  and my heart goes out to you.

My husband, Ian, died nearly 15 weeks ago and I have good and bad days. I still can’t really accept what has happened as can’t bare to think of the future without him. We were together for 40 years but still had lots of plans.

I too wish I was the one who had passed away and not Ian. I often say to myself ‘why him’ and ‘why is life so cruel and unfair’. So you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings and many on this site would say the same.

Like you, we were happy in each other’s company so didn’t feel the need for many friends. I haven’t  moved anything of Ian’s, everything is exactly where he left it. Maybe I will one day but not now….

Just take each hour/day as it comes and don’t expect too much of yourself. Everybody grieves in their own way and in their own time. I think I have been in shock for most of the time and probably still am so am making no important decisions about the future. I just wish I could turn the clock back and change what happened.

Take care of yourself and keep posting as often  as you need to,

Julie x

Thankyou for your reply.i feel like i will explode sometime and  the feelings and emotions overwhelm  me. I guess i am not alone in wishing it was me as then i wouldn't be feeling such pain. If we had not love them so much it wouldn't  hurt so much.

We had such happy times as children were growing up and lots of  fantastic  holidays so suppose should be grateful  for all the good times and memories

. He could not have  been a better father  to our kids he had such patience with  them showing them how to do things.

He taught our son to play golf and they loved playing together at different  course here and abroad there was a closeness in father and son that was lovely to see.

Our daughter was always daddy's girl and he doted  on her since the day she was born, he could not have been prouder of there achievement  i only wish he could have seen them  as parents themselves. 

Writing it down does help so i will continue  to do this .xxx