It’s coming up to six months since losing my Mr H to cancer. He was my best friend and I know he wouldn’t want me to be sad but I’m more heart broken now than I was when he was first taken from me - is this normal ? I’m not a crier normally but it’s now a daily occurrence. We bought a camper van last year so we could get out and about and I’ve just come back from first solo weekend away in her. Had a lovely weekend and I’m sure he was looking over me but it’s just so difficult. I know I need to move forward as I’m only 50 and we had 20 fabulous years together - for which I will be forever grateful. Sleep tight Mr H Xx
I think it is very normal indeed. It takes a long time for our brains to adjust and even more for our souls to heal. It's not a straight line (maybe it's for the best?) but each new step you take is a win. So brave of you to go on a solo weekend away! That's great, that's something to be proud of really.
I've personally that moving forward too fast isn't possible and that it bites you back. It's just hard to think that time will do the trick when it doesn't seem to go in the right direction, but it does!
We have to try to embrace the good days to be reminded of those in the bad days. 
And at 50 you have a life ahead of you (even if it's hard to think far ahead), it will take time but you'll get there I'm sure. (I'm 41 and it took me a long time to realise that I hadnt' turned 90 overnight with my whole life behind me)
Take care xx
Hi Rach,
Yes, I think it is normal. Like you I am at 8 months and it is hitting harder now than back in February. I cry more now.
Like you I have got on with things. I have gathered crew and sailed our boat as often as I can. That keeps me busy. But other times are very hard. I know my husband would be chuffed to bits that I am fighting this but oh boy - it is hard.
(If you fancy trying a new sport sailing - I need crew! Now there is a thought - I could start up a group of widows and widowers sailing 
)
Big, big hugs to you.
Viv
