How long does it go on ..

Dear Bensondog, I first fell in love with my beloved husband 52 years ago. It is nearly a year now. I try to do all the 'right things' so that our two grown-up daughters won't worry about me. But I grieve,terribly, with tears and loss and sadness, and still disbelief, and he is with me. . I found that friends just do not understand, even the most sensitive. They just don't get where I am. Everyone on the Macmillan site does. Do what is right for you. If you yourself feel 'stuck' that is another thing, and then you might want to seek help, But if you are satisfied with the way you live your life, then continue as you are, and above all continue being in touch with your dear wife, as so many of us are, and, as others here  have said, just don't try to explain to others, that's all. May you find comfort and support , and encouragement, in what everyone says here.

My Adele past away about the same time , I still say to her as I pass something that meant something to both of us, just quick word here and there, she will be around me for the rest of my life, so don’t take any notice of people who say move on, just live your life  Mary Beth would want you to, life is a gift that has been taken away from our loved ones to soon, we owe it to them to live it to the full, Keep well , keep safe 

Lee 

Thanks Lee, for your kind words. Most of the time , I can ignore what some folk say but just now and then, it hits me. This forum sure does help, even if I don't reply to every post. The knowledge that you guys are out there and sharing the same feelings and grief, helps me feel not alone. So sorry to hear about your Adele. Keep safe x

I talk to my Chris every day. It has been nearly three years, but I feel so much better talking to him. It keeps him close. No one can tell you what you need to do. They aren't you and they can't know how you feel. Love can't be turned off just because someone dies. Love continues. Do what you need to do. And don't let anyone judge you and don't let yourself feel judged.

Grief is hard and is a companion we don't want. But remember that your grief is a reflection of how deeply you loved your Mary Beth.

Martha

Dear MarthaGM, Thank you. Your reply helps me personally a lot. I'm grateful. You put into words what I can't. It helps.. Happy5.

Thank you, Martha. Kind words are always welcome, especially from people who don't know you but are going through the same suffering. xx

Glad to be able to help. Today is my wedding anniversary. Not an easy day.  But reading comments and replying where I can has helped. 

M

I know we would all give the world not to be here. But as we are here, the best thing we can do is support each other. The old adage "a burden shared is a burden halved" is so true. There is great comfort in sharing and supporting...

Martha

MarthaGM, you have all my sympathy.For your anniversary. It is the first year in a few days for me.  It is so true, a burden shared is a burden halved. I feel tearful in a good way, with all the support here, today.   In this last year I have been SO grateful to everyone on the Macmillan chat.  Everyone understands the grief and the pain. And the love going on for ever....though part of my brain still can't accept  what has happened,  doesn't want to accept it all.... It helps so much, the understanding and sympathy here.  Love to you all,  Happy5.