So many emotions

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So tomorrow it will be 30 weeks since I lost my wonderful Chris, 210 days without the person who’d been by my side, supporting me and caring for me since I was 19. It still hurts so much that he’s not here by my side. 
Today our first grandchild was born. Chris knew that our younger son and his wife were expecting a baby. We all hope he’d still be here when she arrived. He didn’t know that it was a girl and he would have been so thrilled to have a granddaughter. Girls are rare in his side of the family- only one born since 1963. How he would have loved being a grandad. Yes, I know he will live on in her and we will make sure she knows all about Grandad Chris. But she’ll never meet this wonderful, amazing unselfish man. I’m going to have a Memory bear made for her but that’s the closest she’ll get to having a cuddle with him. 
Needless to day I’ve cried buckets of tears today- some of joy but some of such sadness. Today that bloomin’ rollercoaster has been going at quite a speed, shaking me up. 
Yet again, I’m grateful to this site and to you lovely folk who will understand, who won’t judge and who are just there when I need to ramble.

Sending hugs

Jane

xx

  • Hi Jane, 

    I’m so happy that you’ve become a grandmother and congratulations to you and all your family.

    But I’m also so sad that your beloved Chris isn’t there with you to enjoy this beautiful moment, I just can’t imagine the mix of emotions that you and your son must have gone through today. 

    You have been truly blessed as you say, for a little girl to have been born into the family but I know Chris will be looking down on you and the family and enjoying this little bundle of joy. I wish her good health and all the happiness in the world and I know she’ll have a grandmother who’ll teach her all about her wonderful grandfather.

    I think the memory bear is a wonderful idea and I know this will be such a special gift for your granddaughter to cherish for the rest of her life.

    I hope all your tears are happy ones tomorrow and my thoughts are with you regarding the sad tears you’ve shed today.

    God bless and take care Ian xx

  • Hi Jane, 

    Congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter,   your first grandchild,  it's a wonderful time, but of course I know its bittersweet as your lovely husband isn't here to share this special time with you and your family.  You'll keep his memory alive in all you do so your granddaughter will know what a lovely man he was, she a part of you and him and in time will bring you joy.

    It's such a painful time for us, losing our lovely husbands,  I still can't believe I'll never see him again,  but I do get pleasure in spending time with our grandchildren,  

    As I've said before I hope we find peace one day, for now nits a day at a time. 

    Take care xx

  • Hi Jane,

    Sorry for being late with my post. Congratulations on the birth of your lovely grand-daughter. And of course this must have been a day so full of emotion because your lovely Chris won't get to see the grand-daughter of whom he would have been so proud and she won't know her grand-dad. But I am sure you will always tell her about her lovely grand-dad and.

    Love and hugs, hopefully see you Sunday!

    Mel

    I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds. 

  • Thank you Mel. 
    Yes, hope to see you next Sunday 

    Hugs

    Jane

    xx

  • Hi Jane 

    Apologies I’m only seeing your message now. I’ve been having a tough(er) time of late. 

    Congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter! That really is beautiful news. I know how terribly hard it is that Chris isn’t here physically to meet her but his love with come through you too her and as you say, you’ll make sure the little one knows all about her granddad Chris

    Sending lots of love xx 

  • Sorry to hear you’ve been having a tough time, Allison. Sending hugs.

    And thank you for your kind and thoughtful words too

    xx

  • Congratulations on your grand daughter, I’m sure she’ll bring you lots of love and keep you busy! 
    It’s so hard knowing that Chris won’t meet her but I’m sure you’ll tell her all about him. 
    My husband never got to be a grandad, don’t know if I’ll ever be a grandma. 
    We are so lucky to have met our soul mates, such a lot of people never have that xx

  • Thank you. Being grandparents came as a surprise to us both when we were told, so you never know. 
    And you’re so right, we have been so very lucky. That’s what makes this so very painful. 
    Take care, sending hugs

    Jane

    xx