Too much milk

Hi strawberry fields, 

I lost my husband last August we were together for 47 years,  I can empathise with everything you've said, it's so hard isn't it doing things we used to do together we now have to do on our own. 

Like you I sleep on my husbands pillow,  I have all is clothes,  his wardrobe is exactly the same as is his shelf in the bathroom,  I can't even think about moving anything.  

As you say its thinking about the future that's really hard, and not having them with us to ask there opinion. 

I'm sorry to hear your suffering to, it does help being on the forum,  as you say it helps us feel less isolated. But nothing can take away our pain.

I hope in time we can find peace,  they will always be in our hearts we carry them with us. Take care. Xx

Hello both

I’ve wept this morning as I’ve thrown out a box of cereal that was a favourite of Chris’ that was well last it’s best before date. 
And I still haven’t moved anything out of his part of the wardrobe and there are things that are his- books, videos (yes, I know), vinyl records all over. His shoes and slippers are still in the shoe cupboard, his gardening jacket has been moved from the shed into the garage...I’m not very good at letting go and I don’t feel ready. I lost him in October, we’d been together since July 1974. 
You’re both right in the support, understanding and comfort that is on this site. But the hurt and sadness is still there.

Take care, be kind to yourselves

Sending hugs

Jane

xx

Thank you Bluebell, thank you for your kind words, I too hope we can find peace, sometimes the grief is overwhelming.

xx

Thank you Jane, Dave’s clothes are still in the wardrobe, I keep thinking I could do with the space but can’t quite bring myself to do anything about it, it is hard to let go. His car is still here even though I know it’s ridiculous to have two cars, it’s such a waste but he loved it and I drive it I like to think my hands are touching the steering wheel where his hands touched it.

Take care

xx

Hi Strawberry Fields,

A few of your worlds ring out. so have been reminiscing. Firstly Rob sold his car when he knew he had weeks to live, i was so upset when the garage came to collect it, it was the reality of what was happening, He did it so one less job for me. I remember later that day he was telling his mum on the phone and she said you should have waited for a better price and he replied I got enough to cover the funeral, he had also arranged his funeral that week. his mum didn't get into the conversation, i look back a realise it was her way of coping, but I had to deal with it.

Before his death he sorted lots of things and who was to have what so I think it has made it a little easier for me to sort, He sent me on many trips to the tip, i have started on his clothes but only a draw or shelve at a time, then nothing for a few weeks. Slowly.  

I am so grateful that Rob was with it until the end and was in control, he never complained, he was a private man i wish i had asked him more questions at the end, but i didn't know it was the end. Was he scared? what was he thinking? 

There are days when I get angry with the paperwork etc, then realise it could be a lot worst if he hadn't done what he did. Just wish we hadn't had to do any of it and he was still here.

Take care 

Love

Donna

Dear Donna, your Rob sounds like a very thoughtful man. How tragic that we have to sort all these things out when we should be enjoying life with them.

Take care xx