I'm Angry..

Oh Pooka, 

I too are awaiting PALS independant enquiry, now 3 weeks over the date they said I should hear by. I believe this delay is part of my emotional set backs. 

Mine isn't a complaint, although they say it is treated the same, Rob never complained and accepted what was thrown at him. My issue is mainly about not been consulted about DNR, ambulance not coming, left over 4 hours with Rob dead on bathroom floor. Plus professionals wrote him off, as was given "weeks to live not months" he lived 11 weeks at home. We muddled through and he was with it until the end so thankful for that.

It doesn't get any easier, access any support you can.

Love Donna

Sorry to read about your Rob being left on the floor.

I fully appreciate the NHS is busy, often over managed with too many in managerial positions and not enough workers. But sometimes I fail to understand the lack of care.

I certainly wont be holding my breath whilst I await a response  via PALS.

Hi Pooka,

I am so sorry to read about how Mark and you were treated. It sounds really horrible. And I can understand why you needed to make a complaint and have it looked into, although, as you say, it won't bring Mark back. But you are also doing this for patients to come in the next number of months and years, you know. The medics just have to hear from all of those who have been treated badly so that it is out there and so that hopefully some day something will change. In the meantime, it makes us feel better to make a complaint when we feel so badly treated or feel that on our partner's behalf.

Lots of love

Mel

Hi Donna,

Oh I am so sorry to read about your situation too.

With the DNR (or DNA CPR) it is a very difficult thing as I have learned in my doula training. Unless you have a DNA CPR form at home which your husband signed, they have to attempt CPR, I think this is really awful but this is how it is.

It must be so difficult to await a response. And yes I do think COVID-19 gets in the

way of a lot of things but can't be used and shouldn't be used as an excuse for everything.

Lots of love, hope to see you and many others tomorrow evening!

Mel

Thanks Mel,

I dont think I would have even started the complaint if some of Mark's neglect by the hospital hadn't been so downright cruel and totally wrong.

But, at the time my energy had to go into nursing him .. not an easy task considering some days it resembled a blood bath in our house. 

Now, I will keep at it until I get an acknowledgment at least. I doubt very much that they will ever apologise in writing. But they can at least acknowledge they could have and should have treated Mark with an ounce of respect and care.

I refuse to let it get in the way of how I remember Mark... but I also refuse to go away without at least Mark being acknowledged. He was still a young man, had served his country, volunteered as a Blood Biker, a Platelet donor saving 100's of cancer patients... ironically at the same hospital that couldn't be bothered to treat him!

As you say, my fight is also for the other patients, past, present and future who also deserve proper care and treatment as a patient and acknowledgement as a person.