Dear All,
Ive learnt that the second year of bereavement can for some be worse than the first year. Im into 15 months since losing my soul mate, my wife Anne, and I've just been hit hard emotionally - right out of the blue! And its only just subsided. It lasted two days. Most of the time I was sobbing my heart out and baying like a wolf along with flash backs of our life together. But there was too much guilt involved. The things I should have done differently. The things I shouldn't have said. The things I should have done. I so wanted to be the perfect husband but human nature got in the way. Apparently the reason the second year can be the worse is that our conscious mind has finally accepted that a loved one has gone and isn't coming back. In other words any unconscious denial we may have harboured in the first year has been desolved and the truth of the situation as it stands is coming into consciousness. The final hurdle. What I've just been through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It was like putting the clock back to the very day I saw my beloved take her last breath. Im not sure now how its left me. Im in a semi numb state of mind which has largely closed down apart from the day to day necessities I need to attend to. Its very confusing.
Geoff x
