Numb...

Pooka hello.  Welcome is so wrong a term but here you will get warmth and space to say whatever you want and be how ever you are.  24 days - so raw. So difficult. It's not fine, it stinks, its wrong, its exhausting,  it hurts.  

Thank you NellieJ

Hi,

Yes I remember all too well my early days. I have just past the 2 year anniversary of Pauls death  but I still miss him, still want to feel his arm around me and just hear his voice.

Time heals somewhat.....the rawness, anger and grief does subside, and as time passes things do get better. I'm not sure it will go away completely but now I am  remembering more of the good times we had together and not the last few years of his cancer, and last few months of his life.

I joined a local bereavement group and found that so helpful meeting others in the same situation. Everyone just "gets it" and the support from them amazing. Many of us have remained good friends and still meet when and where we can. 

Still very early days for you. There is light at the end of the tunnel...you just can't see it yet, but you will. 

Love Kathy 

Thank you for taking time to message me Kathy. 

Pooka - just wondering and hoping you are managing each day - 

Hi NellieJ 

I wrote another message on here a couple days ago ..pushed send and it disappeared! I'm not too good at this technology lark. 

I seem to have struggled more this week.. I don't know if it's 'normal' (is there such a thing as normal grief)?

I think it's  the reality that I've gone a month without seeing him, texting him, chatting to him and I can no longer kid myself that he's in hospital and coming home soon. Not ever...

The world is a strange place at the moment not just to me but the world of Covid which means I can't travel to visit family. I have no friends or family nearby... 2.5 hour drive is the closest. 

Maybe once I can finalise all the paperwork, sort how to turn the heating on properly! and start sleeping things will settle more.  

I tell myself it's early days and the only way forward is up.. but being  brave and sensible is getting harder. 

Sorry, I am sounding very 'woe is me' and I appreciate you've all been through it .. It's just early days for me and things will get easier (I hope).

It will looks, the first month or two are really hard. You will get there.  Then you will push forward a bit and then it can be fits and starts. It has got better for me but then something happens but I am generally moving forward. 

Kept at it, all those practical things will help 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Nothing is normal - we all just muddle along however we can - someone posted something a while back which I really liked - a picture saying I have got through 100% of bad days  -or something like that - I hold onto that sentiment that each day has to be faced. Tough, tough, tough so hope you can be kind to yourself and appreciate that it is tough getting through a tough time. No added pressure to do it a certain way - the support here really helps me - I feel I have a safety net of understanding - 

Hi its my first time on here myself, my husband passed 6weeks ago so i agree with you ,thinking it gets harder as time goes on and everone else seems to be getting back to normal