Hi all,
I got up today all positive! Having the tree that has overgrown in my garden taken down. Finally made the decision after years and Ric wanted me to do it. It will give me a much lighter sunny garden and I am going to replace it with a seated arbour and find the deep purple rose we both loved to grow over it.
Then a get a phone call from the obnoxious coroner's assistant! Ric died suddenly so now there will be an inquest. I knew it was coming and I know they keep implying it was intentional. Ric had severe PTSD as well as stage 4 lung cancer. He drank vast amounts of whisky in binges. He had been drinking but never finished the bottle! A first for Ric! He was not well that day. They tell me had about 70 mg morphine and whisky in his system! I had told them that!!! He had had a bad coughing bout and pain overnight. He had not taken any after 8 am. He didn't always quite get the two didn't mix and now they say his death was due to lung cancer and respiratory depression from alcohol and morphine. I know in my heart of hearts as do all the family that he didn't do this on purpose but it seems they don't believe it. He never left a note or gave me that impression. He had too many things he wanted to do first. I guess the only one who knows for certain is him but he can't tell them!!
I don't want his name marred by this. But he didn't take the easy way out and would not have been doing the chemo if he wanted to die! I have sorted all legal paperwork with the interim certificate and he had no life insurance so I guess it doesn't matter and no one needs to know what they put on his death certificate and I have laid him to rest and I feel he is at peace but he has really upset my day when I was full of high spirits and getting rid of that tree for him do I can enjoy my garden that he worked hard to improve for me.
Oh well onwards and upwards I suppose! Xxx
