I lost my beautiful man March 2018 and even though I still smile and talk to my family. All I can think about is let's get through certain milestones, my son is 21 next week and he isn't here to see it. I should be ok I have other children and 3 beautiful grandsons, but I get no joy from anything I am so fed up of the false smiles and saying I am ok. Well I am not, that horrendous cancer took away all that mattered to me and I am in hell right now. Please someone tell me I will be ok. I feel so selfish in these thoughts, but I really am in hell.
