lost my husband 2 days ago and I have so much guilt. I cared for him at home and he had a traumatic last few days, very agitated I had to call district nurses out few time to top up his medication. I shouted at him few times out of frustration for pulling out his medication pump and he kept trying to pull his cafeta out. Before that he kept trying to stand up to wee and kept wetting on the floor. I cannot get these moments out of my head and feel incredibly guilty.
Maria please don’t feel guilty. Caring for a loved one is so stressful. I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband had head and neck cancer last year and I love him dearly but the act of caring 247 was really tough!!
How are you doing? What support do you have around you at this difficult time?
While I didn’ lose my husband the whole experience was so traumatic so I can only imagine how you are feeling. Try not to dwell on the what ifs. Please take care of yourself now and be kind to yourself - you’ve been through so much xxxx
Thank you for your kind words. I do have family around me grown up children, but I hold it in around everyone else. My mum commented how well I am coping! I thought if only you knew. I have had a response from admin on here with few helplines which I might reach out to.
Hi Maria1, sorry to read about how you are feeling. This is so raw for you, my husband died almost a year ago and he was terribly agitated at the end and also pulled his syringe driver out. Caring is exhausting so of course there will be times when it bubnles over. You are emotionally and physically coping with such a lot.
Please dont hold it in at this early stage for your mum. Its ok to fall apart, cry, scream, shout, whatever you need at this time. Let pepple help and support you if they can. Sometimes that can just making you a cuppa or bringing some food. Or helping you with funeral home, planning, getting the death certificate and all that stuff which is quite overwhelming in these early days.
There is a bereaved spouse forum here you might want to pop over to, just write here or there whenever you feel like it. You can write freely without judgement.
Thank you. Sorry for your loss too. I feel like this busy time of funeral arranging is keeping me busy and after it will hit me harder. My family have been fantastic i couldn't ask for more from them, we are not an emotional family but we have cried together now few times so we are slowly letting it out. I will be seeing him today at the Chapel of Rest and hoping I can get those last images of him in distress out of my mind and remember him at peace xx
