I miss my mom so much

Hi BeccaD,  a warm welcome to the forum, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and the way you are being treated at work, I lost my mum who was also my best friend to cancer  so know how emotionally difficult this time is for you, but to be treated so poorly at work is appalling and just when you need a little help and support they turn their back on you. I can't tell you what to do or say at your work meeting, but as you are grieving, struggling, not sleeping and finding it difficult to cope i would guess you can't carry on in your present situation for much longer, please take vare, Eddie

Thank you Eddie. It’s been a tough day. I got through work but it was just relentless. My line manager literally asked how I was at the end of the meeting and I didn’t really have chance to say. I am just so exhausted, I don’t know how I will get to the end of the school term. I am seeing my GP next week, I am trying so hard not to be off work. 

Hi BeccaD, that sounds horrendous and you have all my sympathy, I know what you're going through.

On a practical note, it sounds like work really aren't very understanding. Just keep plugging away until your GP appointment.   It sounds like you're not really able to balance work/life, to my mind, your GP would have no problem signing you off as it doesn't sound like you are able to do both. 

Employers don't give a toss about employees.  We are disposable, they and HR (personnel) are only there to preserve the employer.  You have to look after yourself and your family.

Keep strong

I kind of know deep down that I probably shouldn’t be at work, but I am so scared of being off as no one will do my work. 

it’s draining being sad all the time. I just can’t believe that my mom isn’t here. 

Hi Becca i admire your dedication to your work, but at what cost to you and your health. It's good you are seeing your GP i hope you get the help you need from them. Becca we all think we can manage even when the truth is staring you in the face, i am no exception and i tried to do too much too soon and nearly died. You have to think of yourself too sometimes, look after yourself Eddie

I went to see a show at our local theatre today and the. To a supermarket. My mom was in my thoughts the whole time. I nearly cried walking round the supermarket. I know I am not right  it’s so hard to admit it though. 

Hi Becca. It's good that you got out to the theatre ,not my thing, neither is shopping but as my partner migrates to Australia every winter i have to, thinking about your mum all the time is pretty much what i did for quite some time there were reminders everywhere, people asking how she was phone calls and mail to sort, Becca i too used to cry all the time, Over time i learned to lock away the bad memories and just remember the good ones, "mostly", also she made me promise to her that i would be ok, and i was. It will take time though Becca and that's because you loved her, I still think of mum and miss her, Becca we cry for a reason so next time just let it happen, please take care, Eddie

Go to your GP get on record how you are feeling. I know it's hard and in your grief and depression you think whets the point but it is essential to make sure they are held responsible at work for the treatment of you.

Try asking a friend to help you log all incidents of bad treatment. dates, times etc.

It can be argued depression expected to last up to 12 months (as yours will with sudden traumatic death) is a disability and they need to make allowances for you as you are protected under the equality act 2010

thank you for your reply. I saw my GP a couple of weeks ago and he is very supportive. I have a paper trail of emails at work to my line manager and HR so will be taking those with me tomorrow as I have a meeting with the head. I shouldn’t really be at work, but I am too scared to get signed off completely. Everything is such hard work at the moment. I have a counselling session today so that will help. 

I had my meeting today. It was ok, but I couldn’t say what I needed to say as the HR person was in the meeting as well and I wanted to complain about her. I basically told the head teacher exactly what happened and how it had affected me. We are going to meet in January when we go back and then decide a way forward. He should have met with me sooner and worked out a plan. Still no acrisp plan though.