my mum is dead

I know, I've just gone through it with the lady I've been madly in love with for nearly 50 years.

What's happening to you is what I've just been through, the brain frantically trying to get a grip on what's happening and going into an uncontrolled skid.

I found it was best to concentrate on things I could do, like choosing flowers and picking out the best photos of her to have in the order of service. Now it's over (the undertakers did a brilliant job) and I find I'm stranded in a strange country called the future and I haven't got my beloved Kathy with me any more. I don't know my way around. It's so long since I had to cook for one that I've forgotten how to do it.

All I can suggest is that you do what I am doing. Slowly, one step at a time, work out what you are going to do in this strange new life. Don't worry if you have weird feelings. They aren't what you choose, they aren't you.

iv picked the flowers for her

I know how tough this time can be believe me the time between the passing and the funeral is the worst. I’m 17 and I lost my grandad to brain cancer in may and honestly that time was when my life just felt like a horror movie. You will feel grief, sadness regret all kinds of emotions which are unexplainable to others but you battle on through. After the funeral will be painful but for me I felt at peace after. Remember your not alone in these feelings.