Dreading New Year

Ahh, love the paintings GBear, thank you for sharing with us and I hope you are doing ok. Made me smile too, thank you! 

Hello also to Lou, Sunny, Sunshine, Kate, Spu. Hope everyone is having an ok week so far. It's been a cold wet day here and I've had a rotten cold since Sunday so feeling a bit tired and run down. I think I am in a slightly better place at the moment, though (she says very tentatively) - for the last week or so, I've had lot more calm inside than I have had in a really long time. Don't know what's different. I had a positive Mum dream the other week which was nice: it was simple, just that we had her back again, back to her old self - in the dream she had died, but had come back to us and we could be together again. Sometimes that sort of dream might me feel sad, but this time it made me feel sort of uplifted, hopeful. Still miss her millions of course.  

The cold means I haven't done much exercise for about a week, so for those who are getting out there and getting on it, sending my best cheerleading support your way! Hoping to head out for a long countryside run when I've got a bit more time off around Easter. Does anyone else have any days off/any nice plans? 

All my best wishes to you lovely ladies of Mac

Emma x

Aww love the pictures GBear. Hope you are well. Xx Hey Emma, sorry to here you have a cold. I feel it's the horrid weather. Freezing again in the south east. I have an ear ache. It really hurts. Xx  so no gym today. Back in it tmrw. 

Aww glad your having a calm period. Me too xx. I feel oddly settled this week. (I too haven't felt this in a long time) Must admit, after a big wave around Mother's Day. It's most welcomed.

I dream of my mum often. Sometimes when I wake it really upsets me. But lately its nice dreams, like she popping by to say hi. It gives me comfort. Xx

No plans as I'm working over Easter. But my dad's going to his brothers. So im going to stay at home (still call it home even thou I left over 20 yes ago ) and look after Stanley (the dog) so that me nice in between working. Xx 

GBear! Loved the pictures. I looked at them on the train and chuckled when I saw the rabbit. Brilliant card. Nice to hear from you too, Hope you are getting the rest you need.

Emma - sorry to hear you're under the weather with a cold etc. hope you can get some rest. Try and sleep some more and take some baths. I also find steaming my face helped in those situations.

Hi Sunshine, Sunny, Lou, Spu :-) How are you all doing? 

I too found that last week was a lot calmer and positive. I had a wave by Saturday after a real intense dream with mum very poorly but this week hasn't been too bad. I managed  a run last night and covered 5.5k - baring in mind that its still running and a brisk walk. I haven't got to fully running 5k - yet. This morning I had an email from Target Ovarian Cancer who said they couldn't offer me a charity place in the 2020 marathon as my money limit was too low. Basically begged and had to up my money target and now they are considering me again. Will also need to enter by ballot when it opens. Hope I am luckily. 

Thinking of you all as always.

Easter - we're planning to do an egg hunt for my niece Freya in Norfolk. That and eating, running and a few g&ts xxxxx

As Kate said, I loved the pictures too GBear, bunny picture my favourite. Sorry to hear you have a cold Emma, hope you feel better soon and hope you get rid of the earache too Sunshine. 

Thinking of all Team Mac xx

Thanks Sunny 43, feeling brighter. Dragged myself to the gym yesterday. Weighed myself and I've lost 10lb. So happy. I feel motivated to keep focused. I know my mum would be beaming. Xx

Aww Kate, sounds like a lovely weekend with your niece. Being an aunty is the best thing ever XXX Hope you sort your marathon place. XXX 

I spoke to a lady at work today. She is temporary not worked our area before .We had lunch together and we got chatting. I was talking about mum and she said she lost her mum 15 yes ago. We talked about how it seems the British way is chin up and carry on and how death and breavement is still so underground and how good it is to talk. We talked about how our mums were and what we had learnt from them .Xx we laughed and chatted .

When I went to leave she thanked me. She said thank you for sharing and understanding. And I thought that was so kind. I explained she helped me too. Xx 

Got me thinking, thank you guys for sharing and understanding. It really does help. I feel so support from the Macteam. Xx

I’m pleased to hear your feeling brighter Sunshine and well done on losing 10lb. It does make such a difference to be able to talk someone about our loved ones and be comfortable too. I’m glad you and the lady at work could chat about your mum’s. Thank you Sunshine and all the MacTeam for supporting me too.

Hope you all manage to get through the Easter weekend and hope your niece Kate finds lots of Easter   eggs xx

Morning ladies,

Wonderful news on your 10lbs loss Sunshine. It goes without saying that your mum would be so proud!! 

Having a bit of a wobble this morning. 6 months ago mum passed away. I’m going into work slightly later to avoid a busy train (curbing any possible panic attacks) but I’m going into a pretty unsympathetic team. It’s not even their fault - they just don’t get it and some choose to turn a blind eye. Know you guys will all get it - please send an sos / rubber dingy. Today is going to be a tough ride I think  xxxxxxx

Morning Mac team, especially Kate. Anniversary dates are so hard - I'm sorry you're not surrounded by caring people but know we are all thinking of you today, and you can always offload later. I'm sending a huge rubber ring to you today and I thought, as it's an extra-tough one, a friendly helpful dolphin to give you company and hope in the deep waters. And a great big rainbow. Good thought going in later than usual, any ways you can reduce the load on you until you can get home and let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. Big hug xxx

Also congrats to Sunshine on the hard work at the gym paying off, that's a brilliant effort! Sending lots of sunshine, peace and comfort to you all today.

My cold is finally on its way out, so I stayed with my sister last night at our family home where she lived with mum - haven't been able to visit for a couple of weeks as work has been to busy. Sad but so full of comfort and happy memories too.

Sending love to our wonderful beautiful mums - they are looking out for us always xxxx

Morning everyone,

Sorry your finding the six month anniversary of your Mums death Kate, but remember everyone is thinking of you and because of this your surrounded by love. I recently lost another friend who I hadn't known very long but was always so supported by and although I knew that they were getting iller I still was shocked to hear that they had died, it made me crumble a bit actually I didn't know what to say. So I know its hard when they are no longer around. Emma I hope you get rid of that cold soon. Sunshine well done on losing the 10 lb I bet you feel really chuffed well done!.

Not many rainbows round here we have warm sunshine but the wind is freezing but out of the wind its very pleasant indeed. 

Sending my love to you all macteam

We will be all thinking of you Kate - on behalf of Team Mac we are sending a rubber dingy and a beautiful rainbow your way xxx