Dreading New Year

Morning ,

I totally understand where your coming from. Unfortunately over the years I have definitely had more then my fair share of funerals and there has been times I have just said no. Its not that you don't care or anything like that it's because sometimes we just can't do it. I can understand your husband hoping you would go then realising it be too much to ask, its hard for you on two fronts its too soon for you to handle another death another funeral but I am sure you feel conflicted too and want to be there to support your husband. Just do what you feel comfortable with, you can still support your husband without physically being there. It has taken a lot of strength to say you can't so your a stronger person then you realise. Pain doesn't go away but being able to cope becomes easier over time.

Sending you a big hug

Hi Sunshine,

Just to give you my input I would have said the same that I couldn't go either, I personally don't think I could attend a funeral for a long time.  I think there is nothing you should feel guilty about you've sent your condolences to the family and I am sure they would understand. 

xxxx

Hi BreLeGar1,

I was also very close to my mother, and only now it is starting to slowly sink in the enormity of it all bit by bit  it is the only way I can cope with it I think. If that is coping with it I don't know I'm just struggling on through each day as we all are, trying to see little positive things in each day just to get through.

I've only read on the internet about the afterlife I've not actually been to see anyone I'm not sure if I could just curious and hanging on to everything at the moment.  I do fully believe that there is something after I just cannot truly believe that the love my mother had for us all and especially the love she had for my children and my niece would just stop existing.  I also strongly believe that my mother is watching over us giving us all the strength we need to carry on without her. 

Take Care

Lou xxx

Thank you Lou12 for your reply.

Yes, it is hard to believe that such love would just cease to exist - I hope not.

It is good that you feel that your Mother is watching over. I do, so much, hope mine is too. 

I am thinking of seeing a medium sometime but feel too raw at the moment. If only we could still talk to our lost loved ones as though we were on the phone.

Best Wishes x

Thanks Lou12, sometimes you have to look after yourself. And of of course the day, isn't about me and my loss. But about another beautiful family. Xx I will be thinking of them. Xxd

Hi Sunshine,

Just adding in my 2 cents, Agreeing with all the other ladies. Don't feel any pressure or anything to attend. I absolutely wouldn't go to any funeral for as long as I can help it. Even seeing a Hurst these days gives me a shudder or makes me fill up with tears. Strangely, when I don't know the answer to things, I still say 'what would mum say?' What would your mum say?

How is everyone's week going? I just got back from my work trip. Had to carry a shower plastic strip home, 4 wine glasses, 2 tops from zara, a work laptop, my dad's birthday present! (this monday) and a suitcase - managed to whack a few people on the way! Dexter is chuffed to see me - probably because he wants more food! Anyway, will no doubt only manage a bath and some sleep.

Thinking of you all xx

Hope your week/work trip went ok Kate. My week has been ok, tears as usual, but, as you all say on here, all part of the grieving journey that we are on. It sounds as though you had a lot of items to carry back - sounds a bit like Crackerjack programme, hold as many items as you can and if you dropped an item, you would get a cabbage. No doubt, people under 40, will maybe not know what I’m talking about. I’m 43, child of the 1980s. Glad to read that Dexter is fine and enjoying his food! Hope all of you have managed to get through the week ok xx

Aww thanks Kate. Xx sounds like you did well. Aww glad you got a warm welcome from Dexter. Xx

How's ever week gone? Hope you are all well. Xx 

I've had an ok week.  Started off horrid. Was in a bad place earlier this week. Big waves.  But have spent some time out of town with my mum's family. It has cleared my head and just chill. I got really spoilt. Xx I love being with them and hearing stories about my mum. It's also really important to me to keep that connection. Xxx my mum would want me to, too. Xxx  Home now and a rare weekend off. And my plans. Well nothing really. Xx I plan to just enjoy being off. Gonna walk Stanley tmrw missing that ball of fun. Xx  wishing you all a peaceful weekend. Xx 

I bet Dexter was really pleased to see you Kate. Its been a mixed week if I am truly honest with myself. Talked though some very difficult stuff but also had some great laughs along the way then yesterday I got really very cross that one of my Hospital appointments has been cancelled again and so the refferal team have made an appointment at another hospital. Its the build up you know you have an appointment coming up mine was in a couple of weeks then its cancelled they did exactly the same with the other appointment exactly two weeks before and they cancel it. I have lost all faith in that hospital so going to one that's actually closer to home and easier to get too. The only reasons I was going this other one was that it had an earlier appointment. Now got to wait till May. I don't have the greatest confidence in hospitals as it is so this isn't helping.

Today I am going to a wellbeing event at one of the local community centers, at first I was interested in the art project there and didn't realise the other things that they say are going to be there so be interested to see what its all about. At least I be out of the rain. What a complete difference in the weather!

Enjoy the well-being event GBear - as you said, at least you will be out of the rain. It’s cold/raining here in Sunderland xx