Head and neck cancer

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Hello , my dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer in his neck , it’s a very very big lump and the doctor said we will have all the results back in two weeks but he said as a doctor who has done this for a while he thinks it’s too far gone and there won’t be any treatment or surgery to help him out and he will just take some tablets to help him out for his end of life . The doctor also thinks he will have months left to live . My dad can’t swallow without being in pain , finds it hard to sleep and is extremely weak . He is also a drinker and a smoker and won’t stop as it’s the only thing he says he still enjoys . How can I help my dad feel better ? How I help to make him have a bit more energy to maybe even go for a walk and get some fresh air ? Is so sad seeing him like this and he’s never been sick his whole life and is usually extremely strong. 

  • Hi  

    There are a whole range of cancers that appear at the neck and until you get the results back it is really quite difficult to know what the next step is. 

    Perhaps for you at the moment the easiest bet might be to suggest looking at what to say when someone has cancer - it sounds like it might be worth pointing his oncologist at that too!

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi ,

    Thanks for posting, and I'm really sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis.

    This is just a short message to let you know that I have moved your question over to our Ask a Nurse forum so you can also get some advice from one of our qualified Cancer Information Nurse Specialists.

    If you need any help or support in the meantime, please don't hesitate to give our Macmillan Support Line a call. The Support Line teams can be reached on freephone 0808 808 00 00, and they're open from 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week.

    All the best,
    Matthew
    Macmillan Online Community Team

  • Dear Oksana,

    Thanks for reaching out to us here at Macmillan Cancer Support. I’m Gemma and I’m one of the Cancer Information Nurse Specialists here at the online community.

    Your question has been moved over to us so that we can offer some information that might be helpful.

    We understand from what you have said that things may have changed since your dad was last seen by any health care professionals.  It cannot be nice to see your usually strong dad be so ill and weak. It’s natural to want to do something to help him feel better, I’m sure your being there to support him already makes a difference.

    It is unclear to us whether your dad has been offered anything to help with his symptoms of pain, and difficulty swallowing. If he is not managing much to eat and drink, this can affect him in a number of ways, including his energy levels.

    Although he is waiting for his results, it does not mean that he should be suffering uncontrolled symptoms.

    Depending on your level of worry you could call your dad’s GP straight away, to request an urgent review. I realise it is Friday early evening as I post this and the GP may be closed; if you are unable to get hold of them, please call the NHS on 111 who can help with a phone assessment. Or if you become worried that the situation is becoming an emergency, please call 999.

    As a support line service, we are always happy to support with generalised cancer information, signposting to services and for emotional support. However, we have no access to NHS records or face to face staff to be able to offer individual assessment.

    Once his symptoms are under better control, please do give us a call if it might be helpful to talk about what to expect going forward. We can often help best over a spoken call, with the opportunity to ask questions. We are available on *freephone 0808 808 0000 7 days a week, 8am – 8pm.

    With best wishes,

    Gemma J. Cancer Information Nurse Specialist 

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email

    Ref/HK