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Today I attended the funeral of a friend and colleague who has died of cancer of the womb. She was diagnosed in October after she had gone in for a hysterectomy. So sad that she was so close to retirement but never got to achieve all her wishes and hopes for the future. Carpe diem! RIP Fiona
Sadly my Dad passed away on the 12th February 2014. He went peacefully in his sleep and free from pain. I shall miss him greatly but I am glad he is free from suffering now. RIP Dad
When I mention chemotherapy to people it is always the hair they ask about… I have only one photo of me when it started to grow back -too much for a wig but too new to colour, I was 41 and it has taken me nine years to accept that that was me
Hair and care and barely there,
I see you stare, not fair…
For years and years it hid my ears,
Shrouded my fears of Dumbo jeers.
A wig, no matter how I try,
Is alien and makes me cry,
And whilst my legs look like they’re waxed,...
When I was ill I would put on a good blouse and my friend Sharron would take me to the Oncologist, then when I had no veins left it was the Angiologist, we always had a laugh and I remember my treatment with pain but also that humour. I wrote this with that in mind…
‘Though not every day’s a good day, still a few are,
And not sure the things we could say, still it’s too far…
I can love and I can care, yet the pain I cannot share,
Just distract you through despair...
I work on the 11th floor, at 89 Albert Embankment, within Macmillan Cancer Support’s Fundraising Department, and we get a lot of very kind donations from enthusiastic supporters, but we are also told a lot of stories and we try to make sure everyone knows that Macmillan is there for them…
From a tower grand and tall,
Knitting hope for one and all,
Scared or sore or feeling silly,
Head goes hot or toes are chilly,
Looking for a helpful plan,
Speak to us, Macmillan can…
...When I was young and careless,
My hopes were wide and tall,
But life has let things fare less,
And now my wants are small…
A walk beside the sea shore,
Or bluebells in the wood,
An afternoon can be more,
Than any money could…
The crisp snow under leather,
The taste of scones with cream,
More time to be together,
These are the dreams I dream…
The practical I’ll sort out,
The pills, the bloods, the mess,
But life, that’s harder no doubt,
Despite...
Cancer’s not a journey, it’s a slog,
The media says fight to be “top dog”;
I’m being me, my mutilation’s fine,
I just can’t be a health freak all the time!!!
Whilst I look slightly changed, I’ll jolly on,
So why are you embarrassed -that’s just wrong?
Your fearing re occurrence cramps my style,
Could fashion be one boob, once in a while?
The sorrow gets me down because you see,
I’m actually rather proud of being me.
I’ve realized...
I awoke at 4am this morning to go to the toilet. this Is the time that has been embedded In my brain since I was a child to get up and go for a wee. this Is also the first time since being diagnosed that I've slept a straight 5hr's without waking to go to the toilet at least every 1/2 hr's. this Is Indeed a break through. for the first time In month's I feel like I've actually had a restful night. It was another three hour's until I went again. I could not wait to tell my wife. she was more excited...
The medics tell me I will cope,
With mixed reviews, there’s always hope!
The ones I love are there for sure,
And time, I’d like a little more…
We can’t go back, we’re never able,
To bring our bargaining to the table,
I would be good, and maybe better,
This girl’s a goer, if you’d let her?
I won’t demand to stop the pain,
The vomiting, or surgery drain,
I’m bald and that is okay too,
For just a few more weeks with you…...
I wanted to write about end of life and for me this is how I see it. My father in law and uncle both died of prostrate cancer and I wish they had seen my family grow up, but then I don’t really believe they are that far away yet…
You know surely how hard I felt your going,
That when it came, I couldn’t feel a thing,
The unsaid words, like unpaid, left still owing,
And yet also impossible to bring…
I tried to make the most of time we had,
You often made me giggle, and...
