My other brother made a surprise visit today so we picked Mum up and went for a Sunday lunchtime drink in our favorite pub. The one Rob and I went to quite a lot before the big C happened. I was sat for quite a while before I realized the lady sitting nearby with her son and husband was bald. My thoughts went to cancer immediately and chemotherapy and hair loss, I am really frightened. I knew mum and brother had seen but weren't saying I also knew Rob hadn't seen. I spend time wondering if he will be able to face that part of this process I know I am dreading it. We have been together just over two years and 3 days after diagnosis moved in to the house we have bought together. Deep down I think I know he is strong enough. He has had major bowel surgery which resulted in what we call 'a bag for life' ....but then just because I can accept him ..and I do .....I couldn't love him any more than I do, does that mean he has to accept me? I have never known him any other way and he just deals with it and doesn't let it stop him doing anything.He is an inspiration. I do try, and most of the time I am positive and I still laugh and joke and try to have fun. I think if I am seen to be coping other people around me can cope too. Obviously there are moments when I have, like I expect everyone in this position, really dark thoughts and I wonder if I am going to be the one that doesn't do so well.
Anyway after sitting enjoying being out having a little glass of wine and jokey conversation I happened to glance over just as this lady's husband lent over and gave her a really tender simple kiss on her head and she looked at him and it was obvious she felt loved.
