Today my mum went into the hospice for a short stay (week to 10 days the doctors said). She hasn't eaten or drank much for a week and is therefore very weak. She can't stand on her feet at the moment, such is her weakness. She is staying there so she can get treatment and so that hopefully we can get her stronger and home again.
The hospice is a lovely place and she has her own private room. But it was heartbreaking to leave her there. The house feels empty without her and I had the horrible thought that I will eventually have to get used to it... But, we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
I felt quite angry today. Angry that no-one is doing anything about my mum's cancer; I know they can't, but this doesn't stop me from feeling angry. This may sound really odd, but this sits uncomfortably with me in a moral sense: the idea that we just watch people die and don't do anything to make them better. I guess the truth is that we just can't control everything, but this is a very scary thought too. I was also thinking 'How on earth has this all happened?' A few months ago, my mum was fine. Now, she's terminally ill.
I know they will look after her in the hospice, but I just wanted to share my thoughts really.
