Hi everyone,
Hope you are all well. I feel bad that I haven't had time to post on here much recently, and part of me also feels bad that so many of you supported me last year when my Mum died, but that I haven't been around much to reciprocate lately.
It's nearly a year since my Mum died and lately I have been feeling very sad about it. On July 24th, it would have been her 65th birthday. We went out as a family and we had dinner to celebrate her birthday. It was lovely. But, since then I have been very sad. I acutely remember August of last year and how much my Mum suffered in the final month of her life. Strangely, all the small things bring it back to me: the nights drawing in, the beginning of the football season. I remember it like it was yesterday.
It scares me that it is nearly a year since my Mum died, as I can remember it so clearly. Many positive things have happened to me in the last few months: I passed my driving test after numerous failed attemps and bought a car; I finally got a job after searching so hard for three years and I met someone and am in a relationship. However, while my life has moved forward, I still remember last year all so vividly and have this massive sense of loss. My girlfriend has been supportive and says that I need to move past thinking about the way in which my Mum died and think about the good things. She is right, but in a way, thinking about the good times only highlights just what I have lost.
I feel like I am still grieving, but also feel it's hard to talk to people about it, as it has been nearly a year.
