I feel so confused, how can my husband be a live in January 2010 and be dead by July 2010. I want to scream. I just sit there staring in to space, zombiefied, my head can't get around the fact that my wonderful husband is dead. I want to SCREAM and shout and cry, I want someone to turn the clock back and make it all better, I don't want to do this, I don't want to be alone, I want my husband back. Its scary knowing…
