15/11/21 - I start chemo tomorrow so a bit stressed about how I’m going to be able to help my family with things for my mum if I end up taking unwell but I guess we will see how it goes and take it one day at a time. Silver lining is that I’m so worried about my mum that I barely have time to stress about my own situation. I’m not even that scared for my first chemo on Monday, I’m almost excited to get started as it feels like a long journey already and I’ve literally not even started
16/11/21 - The day after my first chemo, feeling pretty rough, a bit like a REALLY REALLY bad hangover, not as bad as I thought but also horrible it comes in waves I feel ok for around 15mins then horrible for 15. My Mum has also passed away in her sleep this afternoon after being in a coma for 30 days filling an aneurism, not sure how I’m going to do this without her. Right I feel another wave coming so away to lie down. if there’s anyone actually reading this, you’ve got this!
5/1/21 - I’m half way! I had my third chemo cycle a week ago so I’m now half way done. I thought I’d actually be happier but there’s still such a long journey ahead I guess.
I didn’t do much other updates on my second chemo, I actually had a day in hospital because I had vomited up blood a few times (thankfully nothing serious, just from the amount of been being sick) but it was much the same as the first one, sickness and nausea and not able to eat practically anything and keep it down. Hot flushes too, I found if I could cool myself down quickly I could sometimes stop myself being sick, am sure my partner will tell you how much the fan was on during cycle 1&2.
For some reason cycle 3 wasn’t so bad(although I caught a cold over Xmas and it’s not went away), I haven’t been sick once, still struggle to find things I want to eat and still feel a bit crap and feel nauseas but no actual sickness, think we finally found the right anti sickness for me. Although I hopefully won’t need it for cycles 4-6 as it’s a different type of chemo and shouldn’t make me feel sick apparently, also apparently not so bad on hair so it might start to grow back a bit, it started coming out week 3 just like the drs said, the one I was in it was almost guaranteed so I knew it was coming and it hasn’t really bothered me until the last few days, I think I just don’t feel/look like myself anymore but I know it’s not permanent.
if there’s anything to take away from this post/blog I’d really like to take away the scariness of chemo (and I can only speak for my experience) but it’s not anywhere near as bad as I expected. It’s no walk in the park and some days are really crap but it’s mostly like a really long hangover (without the fun night before hand) or what I assume it’s like being pregnant (haven’t had that opportunity yet) but the sensitivity to smell and nausea and fatigue is what I assume it’s like to be pregnant. Because I’m also getting a fertility jab to put my ovaries to sleep, I also get hot flushes so I’ve been saying it’s like being a hungover, menopausal pregnant woman, and two of those people choose to do (more than once) so it can’t be so bad
heres hoping I haven’t jinxed it and my next three are going to be awful. As always guys, stay strong and you’ve got this 
