Morning, I would add good infront of that but I am not feeling very good about things.
My anxiety had me awake early this morning, for a second I wake up and think everything's ok. Then I remember about my daddy and the sick feeling kicks in. Sometimes followed by a rush to the toilet.
Some mornings I feel positive but today is not one of them, thinking about how most stories I have read on lung cancer do not have a happy ending. My dad still doesnt seem himself which makes me feel that when we hear news this week it will not be good. He is still eating and messing around but seems fragile and tired I HATE THIS.
Next week is going to be a scary one I think we will hear news and we are all going to feel on edge and I am sure my heart will keep stopping everytime the phone rings or the doorbell goes.
My dad is trying to be positive and still playing the joker but I am fearing how he will be after the news, we are still hoping by some miracle that it turns out not to be cancer but we are kidding ourselves.
FormerMember
Hi Knicnic
If it's any consolation, I feel pretty similar today. My dad was diagnosed with a particularly nasty form of cancer last Wednesday but he can only have the PET2 scan he needs to ascertain the full extent of it all this coming week. As a naturally 'glass half empty' kind of guy - though the kindest, softest man you'd ever meet - he's already pretty much written himself off. The hard part for me is that I live in London and he lives in South Africa. So, all I can say is, no-one knows what this week will hold for either of us or our dear fathers but as half the stress lies in the not knowing, I hope that at least some of your's will be relieved when you hear more this week. Big positive e-vibes headed your way!
