Day 1. 4am

Less than one minute read time.

30 Sep 2021

I appear to be awake in a rather alien environment and what are all these weird noises. Oh, this is good, I have no pain and can think straight, but now I realise, I don't really want to think. I am now on my own at last and I am very, very scared.

What just happened! 48 hours ago, under pressure from family and friends, I took my pain to the GP and here I am, eight consultations, two scans and four cancelled procedures and a late night diagnosis of advanced anal cancer later, waking up in a nightmare in ICU with no future. How can this be happening. I can't think, I can't breathe and I am terrified to move. Just in case. Surely not. Not me.

Justaminute over 3 years ago

Aw bless you …. I’ve no idea how you feel but just letting you know someone else in awake and with you…. Just diagnosed today with a very small breast cancer … hoping it’s curable. But the wake in the wee hours has the brain going overdrive
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Snoopy698 over 3 years ago in reply to Justaminute

Hi there. Nothing like the wee small hours to bring out the best of your brain, good to know you're awake with me. Hope it goes well for you.
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YesMaybeNo over 3 years ago

I am sending you my very, very, very best wishes. Please do not despair. We are all going through terrible challenges at the moment: you are not alone. I am on here often and I will keep you company, as I am sure others on here will do too. You do have a future, just an unexpected one.

I have only just started this 'cancer journey' myself and in my case it has also happened (too) quickly. But things are what they are. You are in my thoughts. xxx
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