What a year.

1 minute read time.

This is my first time at writing on a forum so bear with me. First of all I was getting up loads of times a night for a wee! Then it started to hurt, turns out it was bladder cancer and it’s got to come out. So back in march at Guildford out it came only to be told it had spread beyond. That was ok, it’s just an illness like any other. While I was recovering, one day I had terrible pain in my side, off we go to A&E, kept in and promptly caught Covid that nearly killed me off. Came home but didn’t feel well. Got my poor wife home from care home where she had been in respite while I was recovering.  Got I’ll again, back in hospital again this time with sepsis! Come home then back in with sepsis. All the time my poor wife is back in care. Started to get strong again and looking to get my wife home again, only to be told over the phone she had died. A sudden death so police and coroner involved. We had her cremated in August and now I’ve started my treatment. It it wasn’t that I’ve got two sons and three grandchildren I would have taken my own life. Just wanting to get Christmas out the way and see what the new year has in store for me, can’t be any worse than this. Sorry it’s a miserable story. Rayx

  • You have had a tough year but hang in there. I hope you can try and enjoy Xmas with your family and that your treatment goes well. 

  • I’m so very sorry for the loss of your wife.What a rotten time you have had.I can relate to some of your story as I had to put my mother into respite care while I had my bladder removed.I did have her home for a short while but after a spell in hospital and a nursing home she died.I hope you will join us in the bladder cancer group for support.Best wishes Jane x

  • Oh goodness , I am so sorry.  What a horrendous year.  Would you consider speaking to a therapist or counsellor ?  Someone outside your family who could listen and offer support ?  Please accept my sincere condolences.  

  • I’m fine thanks, just want Christmas out the way. I feel guilty because my wife was only in care because of my ill health. My family are very supportive.

  • Hello   - Wow you have had it rough and you have managed to get almost to Christmas. Ray - you have your family behind you and you have this Community on your side. You have been brave enough to put your thoughts into a blog, do you mind me making a couple of suggestions?

    * Why not join the Bladder cancer forum as  has suggested above. they are a great set of people and you can speak to people with the same or similar cancer journey. To join this forum, simply click on the link I have provided for you and when the page opens up just click on "join" on the black banner at the bottom of the page. You can then introduce yourself.

    * If you are feeling a little "down" give our helpline a call on 0808 808 00 00 - there are some cracking people there who will be able to help you.

    Ray - it's our community and it's only people who have "been there - done that" with cancer who know how you feel.  As the old T V advertisement said "it's good to talk"

    I hope this helps - Best wishes - Brian