Last week, having finally had the last of the required tests (biopsy, PET) we finally had the meeting to present treatment options. Well, sort of. Evidently the biopsy had failed to capture any cancerous cells and will need redoing. This was particularly unwelcome news to J as he had had a quite 'uncomfortable' time of it. We've since talked it over and he will definitely not be so 'brave' next time and will ask for more painkiller if need be. The PET showed definite signs of cancer in the liver and node but none elsewhere, thank goodness.
So, the decision is to start chemo after the biopsy is done but ahead of the results which can take several weeks. A first line therapy of 2 drugs (can't remember their names) 1 by drip and second by slow release bulb. 6 times fortnightly cycles.
Incidentally- having more or less got used to a proffered 5 year survival rate of 25% J asked her for a second opinion. Bad idea - now reduced to 2/3 year rate of 50%. Maybe thats a different way of saying the same thing but it felt like a hammer blow tbh especially as he is so healthy atm.
J was then sent off to the one stop clinic for more prepping and home we went in a state of high adrenaline and some shock.
Fortunately our sons took us in hand and insisted on spending most of the weekend keeping us company. By the time we were alone again we were much calmer and this week has been ok.
Today I can feel the anxiety rising again. It is such a strange experience. In the same situation to be so calm and feel things are at a manageable distance then the creeping sense of panic and anxiety arising from nowhere. But at least we're getting to recognise and understand these waves and patterns and can attempt to resist catastrophising and falling right in to the depths.
Still waiting on the mortgage offer too!
