I have gone into this in a fair amount of detail as – to me – even having been around for 53 years, it was an experience shrouded in some mystery – but worth exposing – as it’s not something I would wish on anyone in the vicinity.... I have been delicate, but, you have been warned….
I have no idea how long it had been building up for - possibly weeks – I thought I was “going” quite regularly... but clearly not enough… as I found out when everything ground to a halt.
I was aware of some slowing down beforehand and had taken pre-emptive steps with the likes of Senna Pod and its French cousin Syrop de Fig… nothing had prepared me for what was to come (the Jaws music comes later).
Over the course of the last couple of days of this story, it struck me that something quite innocuous can quickly turn into desperation when it lodges extremely uncomfortably… and sitting down upright becomes an impossibility.
“It” was completely wedged – nothing was moving - I remembered sachets of some chemical pre rectal exam type home enema kit which I happened to have hanging about…. As one does.
So 2 litres of that and 4 hours later… sitting up was still an impossibility and now I felt quite sick too – I was wandering around groaning a lot…. doing a great impression of John Wayne at this stage – having just go off his horse after a good long ride…
The discomfort though was paling into comparison with the terror I was beginning to feel of having to get myself off to A&E; to experience the potential devastating and embarrassing consequences of my not properly monitoring my movements – in public…
I am now experiencing a build-up of volcanic proportions… and having a complete sense of humour failure…. This simple yet essential process has brought me to my knees (or it would have done if I could bend over)… nothing else mattered… I was in limbo.
With the remnants of some milk of magnesia and half a tin of Andrews standing between me and a purple face requesting professional intervention – let alone relieving the amount of discomfort I was now in - I wasn’t hopeful but I swallowed it all – left it a couple of hours and went in for the final push…
With a devil may care attitude flinging caution to the wind - I managed to launch my blockage of priapic dimensions to an imaginary ovation and quite a lot of pain but thankfully no damage to me – though the plumbing needed a fair amount of attention in the aftermath…
Rather anticlimactic I know – but this should just have been a mole hill in the first place…. Really really daft
Otherwise – Cycle 2 has been very good to me – continuing the Cisplatin and 5FU intravenous… the first week out of the chair is fairly miserable and has indigestion and bewilderment associated – though not so much as Cycle 1 - swallowing is no longer an issue and I have 2 pillows to sleep on at night (still broken) rather than 3 – a huge relief…. Looking forward to the scan on the 10th of March – whatever the result as I need to keep moving on – which I should get on the 15th.
