So today's not been as easy as yesterday. Everyone's at each other's throats and everyone needs a break from each other. The only problem is it feels like that's not possible.
Mum told me today I was a moody b****. In fairness I probably have been a bit short with everyone over the last few days for which, after it's been pointed out and recognised, I feel extremely guilty. I am struggling to cope with everything and I can't speak to my close family about it and I am not good at sharing my feelings preferring to do the very human thing of bottling it all up.
I came in from work tonight and conversation went straight to mums cancer. This was after a close colleague telling me that after being given the 'all clear' from cancer last year that he needs a biopsy and they think it's returned but in a different place. There literally is no escape. I have had a battle with work today too about refusing time off, a battle which was not necessary had they not done their job properly, it's extra stress which I don't need and extra stress which i must, after mums comments, be in some way unknowingly taking out on my family. And a battle which I did not win, time off has still been refused. In all honesty I'm considering a career change.
Emotions are over whelming tonight. It should be a happy day because mum was well enough to get her chemo this week, she wasn't last week. I'm grateful to the nurses and doctors but she shouldn't need chemo, this shouldn't have happened. Everyone says to try and stay positive and smile, but it's getting increasingly difficult. People mean well but they're just words which are supposed to bring comfort.
Why? Why my mum?
FormerMember
I can remember saying those words many times over the years. Why Mum?We lost her 14 years ago and I still ask.3 sisters who are all Health Care and we all had those times of 'conflict'I used to have many a last minute shopping trip or Lunch meeting just to get a bit of space and perspective.On work ,check what your place of works policy is on carers leave /compassionate leave etc. being armed with facts before you make a request is powerful.hugs xx
