I started having problems swallowing some foods probably in January,February this year so just avoided them. Being self employed it was easy to convince myself and my wife that I was too busy to take time off to go to the doctors. As swallowing became more difficult and the weight loss too obvious I finally went in mid May. When I told the doctor my symptoms he said that it was just down to my age (57). He started to draw small squares of how large I should cut meat and reminded me to chew 30 times before I swallowed ! Two weeks later back in and saw a young woman doctor who examined me and said that I needed an endoscopy. This was arranged for 12th July, I thought nothing of it and went myself and was surprised to get the results 30 minutes after the endoscopy. I obviously didn't take in the severity of what I was told, the doctor said that I didn't seem surprised. I said having been a smoker for 45+ years it was hardly a surprise. It was a lovely sunny day so I left the clinic in Leith Edinburgh and strolled up Leith walk back to the Waverley train station,stopping halfway up for a coffee and a smoke. I am the youngest of 9 I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers, my other brother died of cancer in 1976 at the age of 19. We all met on Saturday 16th for a wedding and only when talking to my family did I realise that this might be a bit more serious than I thought. I was on holiday on the Monday and decided to take a look at the Macmillan website for information about the oesophageal cancer. When I saw the statistics for a man of my age and the survival rates I broke down and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Over the next few days my emotions were all over the place and it finally came to me that I had a life and death making decision to make, and it was bloody my life.It was real not a soap, not someone else It was me. The following few weeks I researched as much as I could and after CT scan and PET scan had a meeting with the consultant who told me what the surgery entailed. I said no thanks not for me,he said he wouldn't accept my answer and I needed time to think about it. They were concerned about my weight loss and told me not to delay too long. He arranged for me to see an oncologist about chemotherapy treatment. I decided It wasn't for me, I wanted my immune system to be at it's best if going through major surgery (Ivor Lewis). I was sitting in the waiting room on 27th September in my gown and Ted's finally after 3 1/2 hours it was cancelled and I was sent home! Back on 3rd October and had it done, after 9 hours in surgery in recovery they discovered that the epidural for pain relief had little effect and had to put me on morphine. Heart rate up to 200 beat's per minute,they finally got it under control. I speak t 6 days in HDU before being transferred to an ordinary ward. My Batt is going flat I'll have to stop just now and charge it, I shall finish this later.
