So this post is a bit about my family.
Mum is the eldest of three; two girls and a boy. Her Father was Polish and her Mother English. They met at the end of WW2, when my Grandfather was discharged from the British Army. Mum arrived a couple of years later. She met my Father whilst they were at school, Mum says their eyes met across an exam room! They married young (Dad had only turned 21 a few days earlier) and I arrived about 9 years later. Sadly, I was to be an only child.
Dad was also an only child. His parents met after WW2 and married quite quickly. Dad was born in his Grandmothers living room with my Grandfather present. Nanna often told me that he saw the blood and swore that they were never doing that again, and they never did!
When I hit the teenage years, Dad started working away. He was often gone from Monday to Friday. I like to think that this would have happened regardless of me hitting the teenage years, but I'm sure that sometimes being away was a blessing for him! I was not a nice teenager.
Anyway, during one of these occasions, in May 2004, Mum had a phone call to say that Dad had collapsed in a meeting. She rushed to be by his side and we were told it was late onset epilepsy. A couple of days later she was able to bring him home to recover. In September we were told it was cancer. He had a brain tumour. He underwent surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Then we were told he was in remission. Sadly it was short lived, a couple of months later Dad's behaviour started to become a little out of character and the scans revealed the tumour was back. He was given 2 weeks to live and died aged 54.
I married young. I was 22 and in love. Our daughter was born a year after we married and when she was 9 months old I became pregnant with a son. Sadly the marriage did not last and we separated a month before our son was born. Dad was my birth partner. He was great. He would be diagnosed with cancer just 7 days later.
When my son was a year old, I met my now husband. We have been together for 11 years now and this weekend we celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. We have a son together, who is now 8 and is very mush the best of both of us. My husband has not adopted my older children, but he is very much their father. Their biological father has had no contact with them in the last 12 years.
In terms of extended family, there isn't a lot to tell. Dad's family have all died with the exception of one of his cousins who lives in Australia. Mum's sister and her husband have a daughter who is married with 3 children, and Mum's bother and his wife have 2 daughters. As a family they are not overly supportive, but in fairness to them they don't know the whole story and they don't know how to deal with the bits of the story that they do know.
When Mum was diagnosed, she decided that she didn't want anyone to know that it was terminal. So, none of her friends or family know. At the last scan, we were told that treatment options were running out. There was another lot of chemo that she could have, but it only has a 20% chance of working. She has not told them this either. I often wonder how they would cope if they knew. Somehow I doubt it would make a difference. They dig their heads in the sand and avoid anything unpleasant. It must be nice to be able to do that.
