No drive to the hospital today, which has been a nice break. The drive to the Christie Hospital takes about an hour each way, so getting weekends off from that is very welcome. I am proud to say that I made good use of the extra time too, vacuumed my carpets and caught up on my washing.
Ned has felt very nauseous again today, and has had quite a bit of bleeding from his nose. We have no idea if this is normal, it's horrible. I have popped a question onto the forums, to see if anyone else has experienced symptoms like this, but I don't think I've had any replies yet.
Yesterday I managed to make a meal we could both eat, which really helped lift my spirits. It's only the second time in the last few weeks I have accomplished that, so I will take the win gladly. Shame I can't say the same for tonight's meal.. but I think that was his nausea rather than the food being unsuitable.
My parents and brother are coming over tomorrow. They are going to help me with some household jobs that have been bothering me, and that I would normally need Ned's help to do. It will be nice to be productive and to spend the afternoon with family, I hope Ned feels well enough to get something from it too, it will do him good.
I think it's dawning on Ned now just how poorly he is, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I thought initially that he was just handling all of it really well, but I'm starting to suspect that he was in a bit of denial. While he was at the hospital the other day, he was chatting with a gentleman who has testicular cancer. The mans treatment has an expected success rate of 100%, which is wonderful, but got me thinking again about Ned's 80%. I shouldn't have said it, but i confessed to Ned how scared I am of that 20%, how it means that 1 in 5 don't get better. I think he hadn't considered it, I think it has played on his mind since. I sincerely regret saying it, I shouldn't be adding to his worry. I've thought a lot about that today.
I suppose a bit of extra free time today has it's drawbacks too, but I can't dwell. Nowhere to go but forward.
