After being stable for months, suddenly time is short. Hubby started with end of life type systoms. The GP says he could go rapidly or continue on his slow decline. I'm relieved and distressed all at the same time.
He is sleeping now. The palutive care team have just been out to help settle him after a very shaky episode. That will be his second fit so far. Its distressing for us both. I feel this one was my fault but of coarse it wasn't.. Seems like our up and down marriage is coming to a natural end.. I never expected it to be this way. Men I love usually dye of heart disease. He's always been one to be different. I just hope this is not the start of a new trend for our family.
I cant even admit to myself how much I'm going to miss the grumpy old sod. He's lead me a merry dance over the last 40 yrs.. Then this last 12 months from staritng to try get a diagnosis to now we have grown to rely on each other again. I have remembered and found the guy I first fell in love with. I'm glad I have been able to accompany on this sad road, we really are coming to a dead end soon.
Night night
