My head is always spinning, my brain constantly working through so many scenarios, trying desperately to find the best one.
I leave my current employment in three months time and I am already writing my leaving speech in my head. I don't know why I feel the need for it to say something profound or meaningful to someone. I guess it's maybe because I have been doing the job for 18 years and now the time is right for me to leave. 'Change', the trigger and stimulus to my erupted grief. Good or bad, it's happening and I want to stop it but I don't want to stop it... head spinner!!
I took yesterday's small step, I went swimming. I lost count of the laps I did because my head was playing through various scenarios, swimming techniques and well just generally spinning. I think I did about 28 lengths in half an hour, that's good for me, 'so tell your head to be happy with that'. 'Is that good? What if I could have swam more?, what does it matter?'. Just stop spinning!!
I haven't decided about today's small step. Thought I would sit in the coffee shop and let my head spin into this blog whilst being assisted by an instant and immediate injection of caffeine. Thank goodness I only ever have one cup a day, just to get me going and to allow me a change to stall going to work.
