the holidays where over and the boy was back to school....
still feeling not right i caried on with normal life as best i could and got myself to the doctors,
explainned how i felt and he said "your suffering from anxioty some kind of breakdown" here he said try these anti depresants and see how you go.
so off i went and yes i tried the tablets but they didn't seem to take away the horible anxious feeling i had day in day out.they where making me feel very sleepy and i was struggling all the more.
me and my love started to talk and things there where getting better.things where not feeling so bad but i still didn't feel right.was very nervious and kept getting a bad tummy.
we went to a do together and it was one of the best nights out we had in a long time,very speciel and we where both happy.we had put it all behind us.
the week leading up to this though i was becoming aware of a hardening in my right breast.my left wrist was touching against it as i was washing in the bath...but like i said i used to be racing through life at a 100 miles an hour.
the night of the do i said to my partner....... "feel this what do you think?" he agreed he could feel a hard lump.
my stomach nearly came in to my mouth and it was then real and it wasn't just me thinking there was somthing there. monday morning i rang the doctors and asked for an emergancy appointment.... i got one at 4pm,
infact it was the same doctor that had proscribbed the anti depresents before!!!!
"i have a hard lump in my breast i said and it hurts"
"ok" he said "lets see shall we?"
"yes he said there is a large lump there that doesn't move"
"i would probably rule out a sist" he said "but i am going to refure you to the breast care team in bury st edmounds."
i started to shack and feel very sick.....i had my little boy with me and he was starting to ask questions..."are you ok mummy" "yes baby I'm ok"
i got out of there and rang my dad...."they have refured me dad"...."ok my darling"...he said.
i knew....
he knew......
my partner knew....
life was about to change forever.
