after having a really ruff summer last year i finally got the appointment at the hospital that i had waited 2 weeks for.a horrid time of not knowing what was going to happen.
she looks she feels..... she says ill send you for a mamagram and that may be followed by a biopsy...it all happened very fast.
mammogram done biopsy done it was all very frightening and then an aganising week wait.
11th of November 2015.."hello lauren how are you?'
I'm thinking just tell me!!!!!!
"yes its breast cancer"
"what about my son?" that was the first thing i asked.
i felt there and then life was over.......
how was i going to live with this??? how was i going to deal with the attention and also how was i going to tell my dad??
what about work?? what about money?? what will eveyone think of me?? ill be on show people will talk about me...my head was going to explode.
i got taken in to another room with my partener and a breast care nurse who calmly talked about everything that was going to happen next.
she was talking and i was kind of listening but i wasn't really taking it in....it was like i was being told off...i didn't want to listen,i didn't want to do anything she was saying.
the talk finished and i just wanted to get out of there.i needed air i needed to call my dad.
she gave me a book as i left called "my mummy's lump" a book to help me try and explain to my son what was about to happen to his mummy.
i got outside and rang my dad.........."its cancer" i knew right there and then his world fell apart.
we got home....my partner played with my son and i did tea.......we where all quiet.
friends where texting asking... "its caner" that is all i could say...followed by thank you when they had expressed there concerns and offers of help.
numb numb numb.......
this then followed lots of hospital appointments and doctors appointments and loads of other things like sorting out work and not working and finances.
followed then by a massive operation which was the removal of my boob.... my boob not yours lady mine.
christmas wasn't great.
6 rounds of chemo
start the herceptin followed by a further operation to remove my lymph nodes.
sometimes i don't know if its right to cry?
i have managed to get through all of this but now wish i had blogged about it all as i was going through it.feels like iv missed the train.
delayed saterlight lol.
