A week of progress and good news ( post dated)

What a difference a week makes

After a week where nothing much happened (apart from the euros starting) and no significant improvements - frustrating but I'm sure I hid my disappointment well.... honest, this week has been full of positives:

• England won a game at the Euros..... Albeit against a tiny principality of 3 million people where half the squad don't even play top flight football.
• I stopped losing weight.
• I got through 3 days without needing an afternoon nap.
•  I can now get round the house without crutches on the whole. ( this means I can actually prepare and carry food / drink for myself whenever I need) just don't tell jo!) It also means I can stop looking like lee Evans' "Norm" character from something about Mary. However, now I look like a drunk chav coming out of infernos at 2am.
• My "pain management " has improved dramatically. Having said in my last post that I was going to get dosed up, I have done this in style. 21 pills a day ( no comments from my university friends here please!) but Christ it's improved things. Not just physically but the mental relief of not being in significant pain for at least half the day, every day, with no improvements and no end in sight is hard to describe. In hospital they kept asking me to describe the pain levels on a scale of 1-3. This was useful at the time when I couldn't speak as I had at least 3 fingers on my Jeremy Beadle hands that I could use to answer (normally with some creative flair depending on how much I liked the nurse/doctor/physio in question.)  Now I'm back home though, I feel a wider scale would have allowed more accuracy or perhaps a more descriptive scale: eg 1: like stubbing your toe but the pain stays for hours, 2: like a paper cut put in salt water, 3. Having a tooth out without anaesthetic 4. Having your finger nails pliered out one by one, 5, being hit repeatedly around the head and face with a cricket bat ... Etc etc.
• My family are still talking to me despite my reaction and contempt for being in the pain described above.
• I was able to drive my car for the first time in a month.
• I ate a pie.

Hands and nerve damage

Although it's obviously annoying to be dealing with something so painful and restrictive that could have been avoided, after various tests, it seems that the damage should be treatable by physio alone. Apparently they were worried that they had caused damage to my spine so more good news in that they only f@cked up the nerves in my arms. This should mean no need for further surgery and no permanent damage. I genuinely began to think I'd had a stroke! A quick note on the tests though:

Test one ( repeated electric shocks). After telling me that babies and toddlers have this test, I was led into a false sense of security. So much so that when she mentioned that the more pain I can endure, the more accurate the reading will be, I bravely/foolishly told her to turn the shocks to maximum. This was a mistake, especially as there were over 20 shocks administered to both arms which not only hurt like hell, hilariously make your hands and fingers flail around uncontrollably. Outwardly I was laughing, inside I was crying for my mummy.

Test 2: (needle test) firstly, I did not know there was a test 2 and secondly, the doctor very discretely mentioned that some people find this more unpleasant than test 1 - great. This involved inserting "a tiny needle with a microphone" her description, defo not mine! Into various nerve points from your shoulder to your hands. Admittedly the first few weren't too painful but hell did the last few make my eyes water - hay fever I explained! After all done she mentioned that I was the best patient she'd had all week and that the guy before me had fainted. I can only assume that the babies and toddlers she was banging on about earlier all died or perhaps more likely she was simply lying!

Further treatment

Initially I was told radio therapy post surgery was a necessity, after some tests, this went down to 80% chance. Then an interfering oncologist (what could she know, ahem) stuck her nose in and it went back to 100% with a possibility of chemo as well.

Amazingly, following the pathology report this week, this has now gone down to 10-20%, despite it apparently being a large t4 tumour - whatever that means. Now this is potentially fantastic news but it comes with a caveat - I may well need to make the final decision as the docs are genuinely in 2 minds either way. Fear not though, I have my double headed coin ready for later this week. ( the other downside is that my new life of Reilly I've become accustomed to may need to be cut short as I'll be able to go back to work much much sooner - just don't tell the office and I may be able to stretch this out still!

Other positives this week

• The NHS still continues to surprise me with its incredible service. I signed up with a new gp this week who sorted my pain meds immediately. The attached pharmacy having seen me on crutches offered to deliver all meds and protein supplements to save me the hassle. It's only a couple of little things but the genuine care, passion and pro activity I've benefited from throughout this episode, at a time when the nhs is so under strain has overwhelmed me to a point where I wonder whether I actually would have got better care not going privately. (With the exception of the surgical team and speech therapist who have worked minor miracles).
• People in London are not the miserable, uncaring, antisocial b@stards we sometimes get accused of. Everywhere I've been since I started venturing out of the house, I've been amazed at people's thoughtfulness, awareness and good humour. This especially extends to the service sector:

1. customers at bars: allowing me to get served first, asking what I've done, not questioning the shark attack story, offering to carry drinks etc.
2. bar staff/restaurant staff.
3. uber drivers - never given so many 5 star ratings.
4. delivery drivers - all happy to bring stuff in the house and even help unpack.
5. garage staff - didn't try ripping me off, served me first, phoned me every hour giving updates and drove car round so I wouldn't have to walk any distance.

Next week:

• England crash out of the euros
• lots of physio: separate appts for hands, leg, shoulder - also knackered and neck.
• Steve loses double headed coin
• Steve attempts to condition himself back onto wine (the beer conditioning was relatively easy.)
• despite being able to walk without crutches, Steve goes for sympathy vote via attention seeking over-use of them in public still.
• More pies
• More pubs