1 Week to go (post dated)

Two months ago, I turned 40. I had begun to create a list of things I still wanted to do in the run up to this milestone: learn to do a 360 on skis, start swimming again, do another skydive, learn a new language and not get cancer. 3 out of 5 isn’t bad so far right! One month ago though, I was diagnosed with cancer of the jaw – bugger! This month, (May 22nd) I start the process of getting the bloody thing sorted out.

This week is all about getting prepared for surgery. (This will mainly consist of consuming as much protein and as many carbs as possible, getting to the gym as much as possible to maximise strength and fitness and getting to the pub to catch up with friends and family as much as possible!)

A quick summary:

• I have a tumour in my lower left jaw.
• It hasn’t spread anywhere else
• It is not going to kill me (assuming I don’t get run over by a bus on the way to hospital next week.)
• I’ll be off work for anything between 2 -6 months.
• It’s not going to be fun
• I need surgery to remove jaw, tumour and lymph glands.
• My jaw and teeth will be replaced by a bone (fibula) from my leg along with some dental implants.
• I’ll most likely also need 6 weeks of radiotherapy

This is how it’s going to play out (in all likelihood):

• 2 weeks in hospital: ( Harley street clinic London)
• 4 weeks recovery at home
• 6 weeks radiotherapy
• up to 3 months recovery at home

Being the eternal optimist/ delusional fool, I’m aiming to take 20% of all of the above at least!

Immediate aftermath: The effects of the surgery dictate that my football and modelling careers are probably now over. For anyone coming to see me in the hospital, I’ll be unable to talk, (lucky Jo), walk, eat, drink or breathe naturally for a while and there will be a lot of tubes, swelling and scars. On the plus side I will have dietitians, speech therapists and physios to get me back to health and get me out of the docs’ and nurses’ hair asap. ( I am slightly worried about the fact my speech therapist is American…… I could sound quite different by July!)

Things I have learnt these last few weeks:

• I am very lucky to have amazing friends, family and colleagues who have helped me through the initial shock.
• I’m not good with sympathy or pity.
• the nhs is amazing ( I’m only going private to avoid being around loads of sick people when I wake up).
• The word cancer freaks people out and yet it’s so wide ranging in its effects, symptoms, treatment and outcomes. Do not freak out until you know the full picture.
• I know a lot more people than I thought who have been affected by cancer – this version by comparison doesn’t seem too bad at all.
• Having chronic illness in the past does not give you a free pass to avoid cancer.
• Ibuprofen, sambuca and short girls with hard heads (Amy Wilcox) have the propensity to make tumours bleed.
• Do not under any circumstances combine all 3 of the above at the same time!
• Las Vegas is a great distraction after being told you have cancer.
• Having cancer does not get you free upgrades on planes.

Faqs

• Does it hurt? (F@ck yeah but painkillers and alcohol help enormously).
• How do you feel in yourself? (What does this even mean? Stop asking this one).
• Are you scared? ( not especially but I might be if you keep asking this question so stop this one too).
• Does it make you angry? (Of course not, things that make me angry for the record are: people who ask stupid questions, bad driving, people wearing rucksacks on the tube, fat people in the seat next to me on planes, Spurs finishing ahead of Arsenal in the league, laziness and ignorance. (Oh and bigotry and terrorism but I would assume that’s a given).
• Can I buy you a drink? ( yes you can – just not sambuca please).

So there you have it, an interesting new chapter in my life has started. This time next week though I will no longer have a tumour in my jaw (just a leg bone) and the recovery process will have started.