Surgery Take One
In I went, 7am, ready to go. Got into my gown, filled in the forms, had my weight and height done and then the wait began. A long, long wait. Until 2.30 that afternoon, by which point I was in tears and starting to panic.
Into the anaesthetic room and that when it really kicked off, racing heartbeat, hyperventilating and crying like a child. I was frankly terrified. Not one part of me wanted it to happen and I could not calm myself down. So after a smothering hug (or restraint) from the nurse, I blacked out.
Next thing I remember is trying to scream myself awake in the recovery room and hearing no sound and being able to see nothing. Here comes the panic again. After repeated doses of morphine and Fraser being brought in, I finally calmed down, not that I stopped crying mind. I was taken onto the ward where my mum was waiting.
Everything was very sore and emotional and just so scary. Something I definitely never wanted to do again.
I couldn't swallow until the next afternoon, and I could barely talk. My meds were all IV, and I had no appetite at all. Not that I could eat like.
After a very painful night, and a frustrating morning with one particularly snide staff nurse, I was discharged.
Bedtime and more painkillers.
The recovery weeks went by quite quickly. Not too much pain after the first 4 days, and my appetite slowly came back. However, I now had awful pains in my joints and felt still very sick. I was also incredibly emotional for days, and cried most of the time. I went back to work on the 4th July.
