Well, as you can see from the title my latest scans showed no evidence of cancer! To say it’s a relief would be a huge understatement. I’ve tried to put a brave face on my anxiety (not always successfully) but I was extremely worried. The thought of going through all that has happened in the past year to be told my cancer’s come back (it wouldn’t really have gone away) so soon would have been difficult to take. Yes, I know that it may come back in the future but at least for the time being I’m still cancer free.
I was in a bit of a daze when I was told the scans were clear but it was mentioned that I would be having scans, initially every 6 months then every year and then every 2 years, for the next 10 years. 10 years! I hope I can let you all know how the scan goes in 2027.
So the next step is May 20th 2018 (I’ve already received the appointment). And now I can start to plan next year. Something I could only dream about this time last year.
It’s not all champagne and roses at the moment. As I’ve previously mentioned I’m struggling to cope with the emotional side of being cancer free. My mood changes so quickly. I have good days and some very bad days when I can’t stop crying. I think it’s time to admit that I need some help. But it’s deciding where to start. There are lots of options, GP referral, online wellbeing courses, face to face counselling.
I think my first action will be to call the MacMillan. From what I’ve seen on numerous forum threads my problems are not unique and I’m sure many have gone down this route. We’ll see what they say. I think just admitting to myself that I can’t do this on my own has helped.
I'm still getting pain in my backside and legs from the sciatica caused by my scar tissue. Some days, like yesterday, the pain is extremely bad and no amount of painkillers and hot baths can ease it. It really is a case of hoping for the best and waiting until it ends. Then I have a day like today with the odd twinge but nothing too bad (day isn't over yet though). There's no logic in it whatsoever. I wish I could determine what sets off the bad days and avoid it. But to be honest this is a small price to pay for being cancer free.
On a lighter note last Friday I met up with some old school friends (we met at school in 1970) for a few beers and a curry. I had a great night. I haven't laughed so much for such a long time. It was the first time I’d seen them since my ‘all clear’. The whole evening was spent reminiscing about the ‘good old days’ and planning for our trip to Majorca next July. Although I’m not the oldest of the group I was the first one to get married, the first one to become a father and the first one to get cancer. If any of them are ever in a similar position to me I hope that I can be of use to them.
So the first door of my advent calendar opens tomorrow and I’ll be smiling.
Happy Christmas
