sooooo been lucky this week, I've had my family and friends up this week, also pic line is in and running which is great, as one if the days one of the nurses put 4 canulars in my hand in one night, so all happy with that! a pic line makes such a difference, specially if your a whip and hate needles like me!
i had one of my close friends from school bring em up meals with all the superfoods in to help me eat right, its amazing how much people really do care, and how much little things mean so much more than they realise!
tuesday was a very steady day for me, eat well and drunk a lot, only for wednesday to fall on its head, i managed to eat one craussant through the whole day, not drink much, just completely lost my appetite, as much as i need to lose the funds it was quite hard haha! as i reached night time i started to get cramp in both my legs, has anyone had this during chemo, from shooting pains to really bad aching behind the knees?? i finally managed to get to sleep thursday morning around 4 am after more pain relief, it is by far the worst night I've had on chemo in terms of comfort!!
i got up today determined to eat so i have had a few meals today to try and get my salt levels up, even caught my nan putting spoons fun of salt in my macaroni cheese hahaha! to stop cramps but again i have suffered all day, not only through that through watching man united loose to liverpool in the europa league lol so angry! and now it is moving on to friday!!
today is the day two years ago i got diagnosed! So im not the type to always put up status’ because i don’t want so much drawn on what I’m going through, but today was 2 years ago that i got diagnosed with cancer, and now I’m back in the hospital with basically a tumour farm under my skin lol, but today i would like to say thank you to the nicest most beautiful women i know my mum, a lady who has seen my dad and her best friends go before her, and now sits for two years watching her youngest son take on cancer for the second time before my 26th tomorrow, the same lady who had to listen to me ask the day before his 24th birthday if i was going to die and say reply ‘of coarse not’ to make me feel more positive. I often get asked who i can be so strong and positive and the answer is knowing what she has lost and had to face, and knowing i will see her everyday when she drives a hour and a half to sit next to me in bed how can i be sad, i have not just her but the most amazing people in my life and would like to say thanks to you all for the last two years al the messages and visits and calls, its amazing how even people i dome have so much contact with care so much. but today i would like to thank my mum not only because i don’t do it enough because i love her and she is the reason i can look at what I’m going through in a easy way because she makes me want to live. I’m not afraid of dying I’m just afraid of dying before i am ready, and i owe this lady to much and have to much more to see and do with her and everyone else that i will be alright i know it! I love you mum.
and then tomorrow i get to leave to go home for my birthday if all goes well so fingers crossed! i know it has only been 4 days since i have been in but i am feeling so positive, this cancer will not take my right to be happy every day away! i hope all of you are feeling well, taking every blip in there stride and every bit of sunshine with a smile!
I have spoken to my professional boxer friend today who has said me and him are going to do a charity day to raise money for a radio therapy ward in swindon, he will be charging people 1 pound to spar with him and i will be getting my head shaved before it started coming out. I am also going to do a 5 k run for charity just to show that i am strong enough to get up and do what i want!
last time i raised 3600 on my own in a week and this time i am hoping to do the same with his help! together we will beat this, and we will do with a smile!
Much love everyone....... James Baker
